Why Are My Feet So Sexy?

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

You're listening to the Savage Lovecast, Dan Savage's sex and relationship show for grownups. If you're under 18, get out of here, youngin.

Dan Savage (0:28)

Straight men would do everything gay men do if they could, but they can't because women won't. I have a receipt, a recent receipt, when porn star Bonnie Blue announced she wanted to fuck 1,000 straight men in a day. 1,000 straight men showed up, more. They lined up get out on. the street right there in front of God, the cameras, their mothers, and everybody. Straight men would if they could. A gay bathhouse is a whorehouse staffed by volunteers. And if I told straight men there were businesses in basically every major city all over the world that were full of women, bathhouses full of women, women of all ages, body types, and points along the spectrum of conventional attractiveness. And these women were already naked and wanted to fuck men, but didn't want to know their names or ever see those men again. We'd see straight men lined up outside those places too, in their thousands. Not all straight men, but a lot of them. Same way not all gay men go to bathhouses and sex clubs. I mean, I'm a gay man. I don't go to bathhouses. I've made this point, I don't know how many times to straight guys, that gay men aren't uniquely slutty, that straight men would do everything gay men do if they could, but they can't, so they don't. And after having this conversation hundreds of times, I can say with confidence that straight men, many of them, are jealous. Some, not all. They tell me, the jealous ones, the honest ones, men are easy, women are hard. And then they ask almost invariably, why can't women, why can't straight women be more like gay men?

Content warning, I am thinking out loud here about Cornell, which is a dangerous thing to do. I am a man sitting in front of a microphone alone, running his mouth about Cornell.

All right, here we go.

Guys, my straight guys, here was a woman who was down to fuck in a pretty gay coded way, down for a threesome, down to snort K off a dude's dick. And what does she got? A promised threesome, praise, gratitude, thanks? No, she gets offered up to 57 other men as free pussy. She gets raped and gossipped about. It's been crazy to see people, men, crazy to see men, some of the worst men online, sticking up for the men in that room by saying that this woman was foolish to trust them.

Dudes, arguing that a woman foolish enough to get drunk with a man or use drugs with a man or agree to have a threesome with a man and his friend can't complain about getting raped by a group of men because trusting a man is always a mistake is not the defense of men that you think it is. Reading about Cornell and some of the crazy things I've seen gay men posting about Cornell had me thinking about this interview I did once for the column with a man who is into being a cum dump, likes to go to a new city, spend the night taking a non loads, puts an ad up on a hook up site with the name of his hotel and his room number, and waits ass up blindfolded in that room on the bed with the door cracked open. The part of me that was never able to share a can of coke with my sister, I couldn't do this cum dump thing. The part of me that was traumatized by the AIDS crisis, yeah, I couldn't do this cum dump thing. But setting those me problems aside, I had another objection. I asked the guy while we were on the phone, doesn't he worry about violence? Some dude robbing him or beating the shit out of him, or, yes, violating him sexually, escalating, doing something he didn't agree to or want to do or invite to have done. And this guy, this self-identified, out and proud cum dump told me that it has never happened. He's one of those guys who skews the averages for the rest of us gay guys, one of those gay guys who's had thousands and thousands of sex partners. And not once, not one guy ever has walked into his hotel room and tried to do anything that that guy wasn't invited to do. No guy's ever demanded his wallet. No guy has ever assaulted him sexually or otherwise. What is going on here? I think when he's alone in his room and some other man walks into that room, that other man sees another man who, despite his subordinate position, they still see on a fundamental baseline level as they're equal. Yes, the guy with his ass in the air is they're equal, an autonomous individual.