Trump Bribes Americans with $5K "Dividends" & GOP Gets Weird at Midterm Convention | Andrew Garfield

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You're listening to Comedy Central.

From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Kosta.

SPEAKER_4 (2:06)

Welcome to The Daily Show.

Michael Kosta (2:07)

I'm Michael Kosta.

SPEAKER_6 (2:08)

We've got so much to talk about tonight.

Michael Kosta (2:10)

Republicans head to Texas for a midweek pep rally. England finds new ways to scare children, and Trump wants to bribe taxpayers with money from the taxpayers. So generous. Also, later in the show, actor Andrew Garfield will be here.

SPEAKER_8 (2:24)

Oh, my God!

Michael Kosta (2:28)

But first, let's check in on the midterms and our ongoing coverage of Indecision 2026, The Middesee.

SPEAKER_9 (2:44)

I've heard the words epic. I've heard historic. That's what it is.

Michael Kosta (2:52)

We're less than two months away from the midterms, which means you've got just under 60 days to find out who your representative is and what Congress does. Republicans are laser-focused on keeping their majority in Congress. How's it looking?

SPEAKER_10 (3:05)

Democrats are leading in most of this November's key US Senate races.

SPEAKER_6 (3:09)

The likelihood that Democrats actually flip the House is approaching 70 percent.

SPEAKER_10 (3:15)

Republicans are facing many challenges, including high gas prices and the president's growing unpopularity, with 64 percent in a new NBC News poll saying they disapprove of his job performance.

Michael Kosta (3:31)

Americans are so unforgiving.

You lose one war, you blow up one economy, you give people one explosive diarrhea. Get over it. At this point, the only people Trump is pulling well with is the company that makes the number five, goes on gas station price boards. Business is through the roof. But seriously, these polls are bad. Bad news for the GOP, which is probably why they're trying something new this year. Their first ever midterm convention in the country's most exciting city, Dallas.

The stakes are high, so Republicans need to go big.

SPEAKER_11 (4:17)

Hello, Dallas.

Michael Kosta (4:24)

Sir, that's not what they meant when they said Trump loves giant knockers.

Fun fact, that's a normal size gavel. He's just a very small man. All jokes aside, fellas, remember, it's not the size of the gavel that matters, it's the size of your penis. Once they got the comically large gavel out of the way, they brought out Senator Tim Scott, who wanted to make his stage time count.

Tim Scott (4:55)

Hello, Dallas! This midterm, we face the most dangerous, radical and frankly weird Democrat candidates in American history. Here in Texas, you got James Tallarico.

The Democrats, extreme candidates, won't rip that heart out of our chest.

They hate our culture. They hate what it means to be American. Hear me, Dallas, not on our watch. We're talking about Jesus!

Michael Kosta (5:40)

Does this guy have range or what?

He can do preacher on cocaine. He can do wrestler on cocaine. He can do stand-up comedian who's on his normal amount of cocaine. This is a level of energy that can only be described as my six-year-old two minutes before bedtime every single night. Honey, go to bed. The Lord does not want me to sleep tonight.

SPEAKER_3 (6:03)

Jesus!

Michael Kosta (6:09)

And now let's keep this high-octane party going with the always electric Texas Senate candidate Ken Paxton. You're battling for your life, Ken. It's one of the biggest races in the country. You show America what you've got.