Trump Bombs at White House Correspondents' Dinner & Jon Stewart Offers Comedy Tips | Kaitlan Collins

**SPEAKER_1** (0:00)
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**SPEAKER_2** (0:03)
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**SPEAKER_3** (0:43)
You're listening to Comedy Central.
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host Jon Stewart.

**Jordan Klepper** (1:23)
The Daily Show. Man, we got a barn-born for you.

**Jon Stewart** (1:27)
My name is Jon Stewart. Great show for you tonight. Later on in this program, I'll be talking to CNN's chief White House correspondent, Kaitlan Collins. She'll be joining us tonight.
We're going to get to the bottom of a crucial issue with journalism. How come she doesn't smile when a weird old man tells her to? We're going to start with the big news from the weekend. The United States and Iran are taking a hydration break. A welcome cessation of hostilities, the respite gave President Trump a chance to stop bombing the Strait of Hormuz and to start bombing at the White House Correspondence Dinner.

**Donald Trump** (2:16)
The other day, a senator I knew got a text, a great guy, from his wife.
And she said, when you get home, I want to have you immediately come up the stairs and make love to me. And he said, I can't do both. You know what the... In other words, can't go up the stairs and make love. Does anybody get that?

**Jon Stewart** (2:41)
You know, normally, I'd say, don't quit your day job, but in this case...
I will make... I will make an exception. Yes, Friday night was the White House Correspondents' Dinner, part dee-uh, where the media elite got to hob-nob with hobgoblins. If you remember, the first attempt ended prematurely by, let's say, very intense heckling. The frightening scene prevented the president from delivering his humorous remarks, prepared remarks, which was a shame, because if there's one thing that President Trump is known for, it's his joyful love of mirth.

**Kaitlan Collins** (3:26)
We all know that he has a great sense of humor.

**SPEAKER_9** (3:29)
He's going to deliver a really good speech.

**SPEAKER_7** (3:31)
I mean, he's funny.

**SPEAKER_10** (3:32)
He is hilarious and detainer.

**SPEAKER_9** (3:35)
His comedic timing is really good. If he hadn't become president, he could have become a stand-up comedian. This guy is honestly one of the funniest presidents we've ever had. I think Trump's the funniest president of all time.

**Jon Stewart** (3:46)
Funny how? How the f*** is he funny?

**Jordan Klepper** (3:50)
Does he amuse you? How the f***?

**Jon Stewart** (3:54)
What's so f***ing funny?
No, seriously, I am asking you. Because when I was watching him do that one joke, he doesn't seem very funny at all. Hey, but you know what, man? Look, I've been in that situation. We all try a new material. Doesn't go, you move on to the next one. You cannot judge Trump's whole hour-long special show, just based on that one joke. Mr. President, what else you got?

**Donald Trump** (4:25)
The UFC Freedom 250 fight. I'm pleased to announce that we're going to host an even bigger one right in front of the White House every Friday night.

**Jon Stewart** (4:35)
See, this is great.
Simple premise, easy, refillable. We're going to be hosting more fights, so these are just going to be jokes about who's on the card, what the fights are going to be. It's simple. Set up, punchline, or...

**Donald Trump** (4:53)
It's every Friday night, every Saturday night, we're going to have fights in front of the White House. But we do have something coming that's... And I'm only kidding.
You know, the one thing about... We are going to have Indy 500, Roger Penske is coming in mid August. Germany, Japan, all these countries, they spend billions and billions of dollars trying to win the Indy 500 on July 4th. We were over at the mall and it was raining. It's supposed to be really bad again. And we didn't do it the following day. And we didn't do it two weeks later. We did it when we were supposed to do it. It was a fantastic celebration.

**Jon Stewart** (5:41)