This Week's News | Jon Stewart on Trump's "Meritocracy" & Desi Lydic on MAGA Moving Iran Goalposts

**Jon Stewart** (0:00)
So good, so good, so good.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:03)
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**SPEAKER_3** (0:27)
This episode is brought to you by Facebook.
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**SPEAKER_4** (0:58)
You're listening to Comedy Central.

**Jon Stewart** (1:05)
World Cup ended yesterday, finito, with Spain defeating Argentina, 1-0 on the pitch, in the footy. The Spain-Argentina final was like a reverse Super Bowl, where the players spoke Spanish and the halftime show was in English. They had Madonna and Justin Bieber and, for some reason, the Muppets. Holy shit.
Is that the count? You got all the Muppets to choose from. Why in God's name would you make the vampire work during the day?
Not only is it the bright glare of the afternoon sun, but for most of the game, the score was 0-0.
You're taunting this poor bastard. I sat in traffic for one, two, three hours. For this, I'm burning alive. By the way, congrats to World Cup Champions Spain, clearly the best team in this year's tournament. And they celebrated receiving the World Cup Trophy with a trophy hoist, which is traditionally, it's a moment that is shared really only by the players, a special moment that is only for the players. It is really just, what the f*** are you doing on the stage? It's for the players, god damn! Why must everything be tainted by the overinflated ego of Kenkel's Muldoon? Why? Why? I will admit this, afterwards Trump had some really insightful post-game analysis.

**Donald Trump** (3:09)
I thought it was incredible, it was four times greater than any FIFA ever held.

**Jon Stewart** (3:23)
What's a FIFA?
How do you hold a FIFA? How could our FIFA be four times greater than any other FIFA?

**Donald Trump** (3:32)
And it's probably about five times, actually, they're telling me today.

**Jon Stewart** (3:42)
Is that what they told you?
You know, they're telling you that because everyone around you lies to you because you're a weirdo, baby. Can we go back a second? I don't mean to... What's up with the guy behind Trump? Can we see that again? Can you bring that out? What the... Who the f*** is this guy? Who the f*** is this?

**SPEAKER_8** (4:09)
Is this...

**Jon Stewart** (4:10)
Who in the world is this? Oh, my God! Is that a backup Trump?

**SPEAKER_8** (4:15)
Is that...

**Jon Stewart** (4:16)
Wait a minute!

**SPEAKER_9** (4:18)
Wait!

**Jon Stewart** (4:18)
Hold on a second!

**SPEAKER_9** (4:21)
Wait!

**Jon Stewart** (4:22)
What? Wait! Who? What? Is that a backup Trump or is that Trump? Wait! Is the one we've been dealing with backup Trump? Or is that Trump's? But...
Let's move on from the World Cup final to something with no actual end in sight, the Iran War. The Iran War is reigniting, and as escalation continues with more intense and widespread bombing, there's no sign that either side is prepared in any way to... God! This is... You're not in this graphic! You're not in this graphic! But we have talked about this! You're not in this gra... Get him out of the graphic! You're...
So needy.
Is that real Trump or backup Trump? I don't know what's happening. Anyway, clearly, the war is escalating, and Americans are rightly concerned that we will be drawn even further into a war that has already cost too much in American lives and money. And so it was that Donald Trump delivered a primetime national speech on Thursday night to address this urgent situation.

**Donald Trump** (5:39)
In mid-2018, China was working to influence the results of the US midterm elections and later the results of the 2020 presidential election. And so they wanted to just make you sound like your president wasn't so hot, when actually your president has done a great job.

**Jon Stewart** (6:13)
Those Chinese bastards, I'll have you know, both Presidents Trump are hot as f**k and doing a great job. Blue tie is doing a little better than red tie, but still!