This Week's News | Jon Stewart on Stephen Miller & Desi on Scott Colom's Mississippi Win

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com.

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SPEAKER_2 (0:30)

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SPEAKER_3 (1:01)

You're listening to Comedy Central.

Jon Stewart (1:08)

May I be the first to add another compilation to your For You page?

It's a short film. I believe the Nelson, the great Nelson Muntz titled Can't sugarcoat it.

SPEAKER_5 (1:24)

Republicans got spanked.

SPEAKER_6 (1:26)

It was an ass kicking. Weak ass Republicans. You just got your asses wet tonight.

Ross Douthat (1:31)

You got punished deservedly so.

SPEAKER_8 (1:34)

None should be spared from blame starting at the top.

SPEAKER_9 (1:37)

Donald Trump destroyed the Republican Party.

SPEAKER_1 (1:40)

We stood for nothing and got run over.

SPEAKER_10 (1:42)

Useless, pathetic, and downright stupid.

SPEAKER_11 (1:45)

A bunch of f***ing bulls**t.

Jon Stewart (1:58)

Guys, guys, guys! Just take a breath. Repeat after me. I am deporting my anger.

Deporting my rage. You know, one analysis stood out as to why Donald Trump lost this election. I think it's worth highlighting. It's from former Trump enabler and noted Putin's sexual, Tucker Carlson.

SPEAKER_5 (2:26)

A lot of men who voted for Trump two years ago imagined that this was a masculine, vigorous leader.

SPEAKER_12 (2:31)

Wait a second!

SPEAKER_5 (2:33)

It kind of seems a little bit more like a bitchy old woman than an alpha male.

Jon Stewart (2:41)

Does he? You get him, girl! The only thing we alpha males hate more than running out of zin is a catty bitch.

I'm sorry, Tucker. Continue to tell us what real men hate about Trump now. And perhaps if you could punctuate that critique with the most, I don't know, alpha male noise you can muster.

SPEAKER_5 (3:14)

Here's a guy who's vain and venal and indecisive. He's dancing to YMCA? Ha ha ha!

Wow!

Jon Stewart (3:36)

That laugh pairs well with any masculine thing you can say.

Honey, take the kids inside. I reckon these fellas might be looking for some trouble.

SPEAKER_12 (4:00)

Ha ha ha!

Jon Stewart (4:03)

Meanwhile, while the rest of MAGA is in some kind of Mexican standoff for people who don't like Mexicans, Donald Trump headed over to the newly MAG-ified CBS for a little self-soothing with one of 60 Minutes' new correspondents, a religious conservative by the name of Ross Doutat.

Donald Trump (4:27)

We have created wealth at a level that our country has never seen before.

Ross Douthat (4:31)

Including for yourself.

Jon Stewart (4:45)

Was that, young man, was that sass? Did the new, magified CBS 60 Minutes just deliver sass to Donald Trump? I think you're supposed to yes and, not yes but.

Ross Douthat (4:58)

There's a Forbes story that said that your net worth, maybe it's changed with the stock market recently, but your net worth went up by $3 billion. Well, since you returned to the market.

Donald Trump (5:08)

Okay, you're ready? So, who's...

Ross Douthat (5:09)

Everyone's... My net worth did not go up by $3 billion. Well, then...

Jon Stewart (5:25)

I think I'm going to enjoy this.

I did not come into this interview thinking, I'm going to enjoy this, but now, as I am watching this, I am thinking to myself, I am going to enjoy this. Let me prepare the table for the feast we are all about to enjoy. As regular viewers of our program know, Donald Trump has a somewhat high regard for his own financial acumen. In fact, not 20 minutes prior, in this very same interview we are watching, Donald Trump said this.

Donald Trump (5:57)

I'm really good at money and finance. It's probably maybe my best thing.

Jon Stewart (6:01)

Best? Better than pool?

Pool renovation, finance and money? He's better at money than pool. So let's hear from Trump about the intricacies and sage financial acumen that brought him this $3 billion windfall.

Donald Trump (6:24)