Thirty F#@king Years| Josh and Grace's Favorite Segments - Full Length

**SPEAKER_1** (0:00)
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**SPEAKER_2** (1:45)
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**SPEAKER_3** (3:03)
You're listening to Comedy Central.

**Lewis Black** (3:27)
Let's face it, commuting sucks. Subways smell like rat sex. Buses have other people on them. And forget driving, city streets are more clogged than my colon. I mean, it's no problem for me because I get around by parkour.
But for those of you who are less agile, there's a new option.

**SPEAKER_5** (3:52)
From ride sharing to bike sharing, there are plenty of ways to get around without driving your own car. And now in dozens of cities across the country, electric scooters are giving people a fun way to get to their destinations.

**Jaboukie Young White** (4:03)
It's the invasion of the birds.

**SPEAKER_5** (4:05)
We're talking about the electric scooters called Bird. The motorized scooters are catching on across the country.

**SPEAKER_7** (4:10)
Riders find them with an app on their phone and can ride for as little as a dollar. The scooters can hit speeds of up to 15 miles an hour.

**SPEAKER_1** (4:17)
I love it so far. It's really convenient.

**Lewis Black** (4:21)
Wow, 15 miles an hour? You can get to your destination five minutes earlier, and all you have to do is give up your dignity.
There's a lot of things to hate about these scooter sharing programs. For starters, there's no dock. People just leave them lying around anywhere for the next person to find them. That's not sharing. That's lettering. You can't do that with anything else. Hey, how about I launch a dog poop-sharing app? I'm not leaving my dog shit on the sidewalk. I'm sharing it with the community.
It's bad enough that scooters are taking up space everywhere, but their riders are also taking up space in the hospital.

**SPEAKER_8** (5:12)
Lisa Beardsley says she suffered torn ligaments and a hairline fracture in her arm when she was forced to jump off what she says was a malfunctioning bird scooter about two months ago. And now doctors say they're seeing an uptick in injuries. But it's not just riders getting hurt.

**SPEAKER_9** (5:29)
It was like I was walking down the pier and I got hit by a motor vehicle.