TDS Time Machine | Canada Day

**SPEAKER_1** (0:01)
You're listening to Comedy Central.

**Jon Stewart** (0:08)
Breaking news out of... Yeah, that's right. Canada.

**SPEAKER_4** (0:12)
Just into the news deck, the crack-smoking mayor of Toronto has just done it again.

**Jon Stewart** (0:22)
Which brings us to our brand new segment. This just in, the crack-smoking mayor of Toronto has just done it again.
So apparently, the crack-smoking mayor of Toronto has done it again. Here's the sentence I'm assuming does not follow that sentence, save the day.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:53)
The hours-long city council meeting deteriorated into a spectacle. Mayor Rob Ford, at one point, started mocking a council member suspected of driving drunk.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:03)
Mayor Ford, please stop disrupting this.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:05)
Amid the chaos, Mayor Ford nearly knocked a councilwoman to the ground as he ran across the room.

**Jon Stewart** (1:25)
Poor woman, the poor counselor. You know, she got into politics thinking, you know, this may be a dirty, unrewarding business, but at least I'll never have to worry about going to work and being trampled by a crackhead.
And there's a reason Rob Ford may have been worked up by that particular city council meeting.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:53)
The city council in Toronto has just begun debating a measure that would strip its crack-smoking mayor of most of his powers.

**SPEAKER_7** (2:02)
Wait.

**Jon Stewart** (2:05)
Smoking crack gives you powers?
Are those powers an unquenchable thirst for crack? But oddly, in Mayor Ford's case with great powers come very little responsibility. So, how did the council's attempt to strip Mayor Rob Ford of his powers turn out?

**SPEAKER_8** (2:26)
Ford went down 36 votes to five.

**Jon Stewart** (2:29)
Five votes? Who voted to continue to give this man power?
I imagine he must have given a very impassioned defense.

**SPEAKER_8** (2:44)
His answer?

**SPEAKER_9** (2:46)
This, folks, reminds me of when, when I was watching with my brother, when Saddam attacked Kuwait. You guys have just attacked Kuwait. And you will never...

**Jon Stewart** (3:12)
So, I was saying, attacking Kuwait. Look, the reference may be dated, but in Rob Ford's defense, it may be one of the last things he remembers.

**SPEAKER_10** (3:25)
I don't know, let me tell you something.

**Jon Stewart** (3:27)
We, I know there was an invasion of Kuwait, and the next thing I know, I woke up, I was the mayor, I don't know how. Well, the vote yesterday capped off a hell of a couple of days for Rob Ford, including an interview with CNN, where he surrounded himself with school children and then said this.

**SPEAKER_9** (3:45)
I just had enough. I was sick and tired of all these allegations and all this **** and excuse my words, and that's all it is. Sorry, kids, I shouldn't have sworn in front of the kids.

**Jon Stewart** (3:57)
I just, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that. I feel like **** for doing that. Ah, Jesus, that's another **** up right there. Oh, what did I do just now? I just said it again, **** me. No, that's bad. I shouldn't have said that. I'm such a **** punter.

**SPEAKER_7** (4:09)
Oh, what am I doing right in front of the kids?

**Jon Stewart** (4:13)
But Rob Ford is not in denial, says Rob Ford. He knows he's not perfect.

**SPEAKER_9** (4:20)
Listen, listen to the thing. I don't look at myself as the mayor. I look at myself as just a normal, regular person.

**Jon Stewart** (4:26)
Then go back to being one.

**SPEAKER_7** (4:31)
Be gone.

**Jon Stewart** (4:33)
Amazingly, after all this, Rob Ford does have a few supporters left in Toronto. We sent our own Jessica Williams up to talk to a few of them.

**Jessica Williams** (4:42)
Toronto's mayor, Rob Ford, has provided the world with a series of incredible political highlights.

**SPEAKER_9** (4:48)
Olivia Gondack says that I wanted to eat her f***ing Olivia Gondack. I've never said that in my life tour. I would never do that. I'm happily married. I've got more than enough to eat at home.

**SPEAKER_12** (4:57)
I'll rip this f***ing photo.

**SPEAKER_13** (5:00)
Have you purchased illegal drugs in the last two years?

**SPEAKER_9** (5:07)
Yes, I have.

**Jessica Williams** (5:09)
And recently, in a response to his egregious behavior, the City Council of Toronto voted 36 to 5 to ask Rob Ford to leave City Hall. So I went to Toronto to see who the hell were these five people, and why they didn't just dump the mayor outright. He smoked crack, right?

**SPEAKER_14** (5:26)
That's what he's told us.

**Jessica Williams** (5:27)
And he's talked about eating p***y at a press conference, right?

**SPEAKER_14** (5:30)
I didn't hear that comment live, but the recorded version I heard had one of those words bleeped out.