Philion: Ranking the Fittest Influencers Turns Into Pure Chaos

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So when fitness rankings turn into a battlefield, every tier becomes a statement. And that's exactly what happened when Philion and Jesse James West set out to rank the 20 fittest influencers they've collaborated with. Oh, this sounds like it went off the rails pretty quickly. You have no idea. What starts as a comparison of strength, athleticism, and conditioning quickly becomes a loud, funny, and increasingly absurd argument about what fitness even means. Let me guess, they couldn't agree on the rankings?

Not at all. The list opens with familiar names like Mr. Beast, PewDiePie, Mark Wahlberg, Brian Johnson, Logan Paul, Alex Honnold, the Paul brothers, Tom Brady, Zack King, Thor, Larry Wheels, Dana White, Ludwig, and Rob Gronkowski. Some land in honorable mention, some in strong, some in very athletic. That's a wild mix. So what was the major debate? A major theme is the difference between being strong and being broadly fit. Philion repeatedly weighs raw strength against overall athleticism, while admitting that some people are hard to judge because their training is so specialized.

Right, like Logan Paul is praised for athleticism and coordination, Alex Honnold for unmatched free solo ability, and Thor and Larry Wheels for elite power. Tom Brady gets treated like a special case because of his versatility across training styles.

Exactly. And Mark Wahlberg is singled out as impressively fit for his age and training style. But then the episode gets louder.

How loud are we talking? Philion questions the rankings around Gronkowski and jokes, "I don't even know who that is," before finally calling him very athletic. Tom Aspinall draws even more disbelief, with Philion insisting the UFC heavyweight is wildly undervalued and moves like a much smaller fighter. And Steve Aoki becomes a target of the bit, with Philion saying, "He's fit. He's very fit, but he's more like anti-aging fit." The conversation also covers Devon Larratt, whose arm wrestling specialization is treated as both a strength and a limitation. Philion calls him "the definition of specificity," noting that his body is built for one very specific kind of force. That idea runs through the whole ranking: some athletes are general monsters, while others dominate one lane and still deserve respect. Then Philion pivots into a blunt rant about recovery culture. Cold plunges, saunas, and red light therapy, he argues, do not replace actual training. "I'm tired of pretending like it matters," he says. Ouch. But the final stretch elevates Ronnie Coleman, who Philion calls "the goat" and describes as the strongest bodybuilder of all time. Coleman's legendary answer about regretting his body only because he didn't do one more rep lands as one of the episode's most memorable moments.

The last elite slot goes to Kristian Blummenfelt, and by the end Philion sums it up: "This video went downhill really quick," then closes with, "Thank you for my daily dose of cortisol."