Hypnotize This! - A Funny Story for Kids

SPEAKER_1 (0:02)

Welcome back to LOL Storytime. Today I'll be telling you a story all about hypnosis. But first, you are getting sleepy, very sleepy. When I count to three, you will wake up and believe that you are a donkey. One, two, three.

Did it work? No? Well, probably for the best. Let's just get into the story.

This is the story of a girl who refused to believe that hypnosis was real.

Maclairen had read about people getting hypnotized in storybooks, and she'd seen the classic example in movies where a guy would swing an old pocket watch in front of a person's face, saying, You are getting sleepy, very sleepy. Then the person would conk out, only to be woken up on the count of three and suddenly be under some sort of spell where the hypnotist could have them say or do anything they wanted. To Maclairen, that was perfectly acceptable for a made-up story in a movie. But to believe that such a thing could happen in real life? Maclairen thought there was no way. In fact, it had never occurred to her that anyone would believe such a thing was possible in real life.

SPEAKER_2 (1:27)

Clare, Whit, are you kids ready for school yet?

SPEAKER_1 (1:30)

I don't want you kids being late today. Maclairen and her brother Whitaker were not ready for school, not even close. Dad, you said you don't want us being late today, said Maclairen. So does that mean it's okay if we're late all the other days? I'm fantastic at being late, and Whit is still walking around in his underwear, so I think that means he is too.

Their father clarified that they weren't supposed to be late any of the days. But especially not today, because today there was something special happening at school.

SPEAKER_2 (2:01)

Today, you guys have a hypnotist visiting your school, and I want to hear all about it.

SPEAKER_1 (2:07)

The most exciting thing that's going to happen at my work today, we'll be seeing if they get the photocopier fixed.

Maclairen was wondering how her dad knew what was happening at school before she did. Guys, it's been marked on the calendar for weeks.

SPEAKER_2 (2:22)

How did you not know about this?

SPEAKER_1 (2:25)

It may have had something to do with Maclairen not knowing there was even a calendar. Claire, it's that thing on the fridge, said Whitaker. That's how I remembered it's dad's birthday in a couple of days. Maclairen's eyes got big. Dad's birthday is coming up? I mean, yes, dad's birthday is coming up because it's on the calendar that I always check.

Whitaker ran off to get dressed and returned a few minutes later.

SPEAKER_2 (2:53)

I can't wait to see the hypnotist.

SPEAKER_1 (2:55)

I just love how they make it look like their puppet is doing all the talking, when really it's just them, even though you can hardly tell that their lips are moving.

SPEAKER_2 (3:03)

Um, Whit, that's a ventriloquist you're talking about.

SPEAKER_1 (3:08)

Oh, is the hypnotist the one that cuts my hair? No, that's the barber.

Whitaker was happy to know he wasn't going to be getting a haircut in front of the whole school.

SPEAKER_2 (3:18)

Maybe this will help. Kids, look into my eyes. You are getting sleepy, very sleepy.

SPEAKER_1 (3:26)

When I count to three, you will stop talking and quickly hurry along to school because otherwise you are going to be late. Maclairen groaned, Oh, that's who's coming to our school? Oh, man, I'd much rather the guy that cuts the hair. Hypnosis doesn't work in real life, does it? Their father didn't answer. He just counted to three and then kicked them out the door.

At school, Maclairen was happy to see she wasn't the only person not checking calendars on fridges.

SPEAKER_2 (3:57)

Clare, we have a hypnotist coming to our school today. Where did you hear that?

SPEAKER_1 (4:03)

Are they the people who make you read the tiny letters on the wall to see if you need glasses? Maclairen cocked her head slightly after hearing that question. Um, no, that's an optometrist. Her friend looked relieved. Oh, good, because I'm pretty sure I need glasses. I can't read any of those letters.

The more people Maclairen talked to, the more she grew surprised by how excited people were to see the hypnotist. You guys do know it isn't real, right? A talking puppet would feel more real than this load of baloney. But it turned out Maclairen was the only non-believer.

After math class, the entire school got called down to the auditorium. On stage were some empty chairs, and a guy who looked like his other job was to announce things at the circus. Yes, the guy with the tacky bow tie looks totally legit. Right, Maclairen muttered sarcastically. The hypnotist picked up a microphone and introduced himself. Today we're going to have a little fun, he began. I'm going to need some volunteers to come up here on stage and help me out with something. From somewhere among the sea of students, a young kid called out, You're not cutting my hair, mister. The hypnotist laughed. Don't worry, I'm not here to cut anyone's hair, but I would like to have some fun with the thing beneath your hair, your brain.