Fauci Takes the 5th Amendment While MAGA Cracks His Diary Open & Calls Him Hitler | Theo Baker

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**SPEAKER_6** (0:31)
You're listening to Comedy Central.
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Jordan Klepper.

**Jordan Klepper** (1:06)
Republicans are still stuck in 2020 Anthony Fauci social distances himself from questions, and we reveal the greatest American of all time. Shocker, it's not a gun made of ground beef. So, let's get into the headlines.
America, do you guys remember Covid, that thing that briefly turned humans everywhere into alcoholic indoor cats?
Remember that era where we lost friends and family to the Joe Rogan experience? We were trying to flatten the curve or Delta the Omicron or whatever the f*** we were trying to do. Regardless, I know that Republicans remember Covid because ever since the pandemic they have been calling for the arrest of Dr. Anthony Fauci, who spearheaded America's Covid response. And this week, one of his biggest haters escalated things.

**SPEAKER_8** (2:00)
Senator Rand Paul has released Anthony Fauci's diary entries.

**Jordan Klepper** (2:07)
Dr. Fauci's diaries are out in the open for anyone to read. It's going to have all the juice, the evidence, and reveal which variant he had a crush on. Now, if Rand Paul released Fauci's diaries, they must reveal something incriminating. So, let's hear what Dr. Anthony Fauci was trying to keep secret.

**SPEAKER_9** (2:26)
Fauci writing, It is not hyperbole to say that today, I am the most famous and talked about person in the country. I'm one of the most recognizable.

**Jordan Klepper** (2:36)
Yeah.
It's not really a secret. Everyone knew that. I literally saw Fauci more than I saw my parents. Mostly because they couldn't figure out how to turn on the Zoom camera. What else you got?

**SPEAKER_11** (2:54)
He said, quote, the press still hot and heavy about me, multiple stories per day directly or indirectly involving me.

**Jordan Klepper** (3:03)
Yeah. Again, he was famous. We know that. A lot of us had Fauci fever. The pandemic made us say crazy things or wear crazy things. You know?
But come on, come on. I'm looking for something with substance, not just embarrassing gossip.

**SPEAKER_12** (3:22)
In another diary entry, Tony is writing about an Instagram post with supermodel Tyra Banks. And Tony Fauci wrote, quote, One person said that Tyra was very sexy, but that I was even more sexy than she was.

**Jordan Klepper** (3:43)
Come on. Come on. Are we supposed to be surprised that Fauci wrote about being called sexier than Tyra Banks? If someone called me sexier than Tyra Banks, I'd write that in my diary. You know what? I'd write about being called sexier than Carlton Banks.
I might even write about being compared favorably to a Bank of America.
I have very low self-esteem. Honestly, this just sounds like an old man not realizing how unhinged Instagram comments can be. Then another commenter used an eggplant and a water-splashing emoji to, from what I understand, emulate an ejaculating penis. Needless to say, a great honor. Look, Rand Paul, Dr. Paul, DJ, Pauly Rand, we don't, we don't care about Fauci's interactions with celebrities. Give us some entries with answers.

**SPEAKER_12** (4:34)
Had great call with Barbara Streisand. I told her that I work listening to her songs on Alexa.
She really did not know what Alexa was. I accidentally butt called her later in the evening.

**Jordan Klepper** (4:48)
You butt dialed the Barbara Streisand, the Funny Girl, the Dolly Levi, the Gentlemental, the Esther Hoffman Howard. So basically, these diary entries didn't reveal any shocking revelations about Fauci's criminal negligence or intent. But that didn't stop Republicans from dragging Fauci into Congress yesterday and grandstanding on it.

**Josh Hawley** (5:16)
Somewhere along the line, it became all about you.

**SPEAKER_3** (5:19)
You became a narcissist and a megalomaniac and a liar.

**SPEAKER_1** (5:23)
And you've lied to the American people, and you've lied to this body.

**SPEAKER_3** (5:27)
Wow.

**Jordan Klepper** (5:28)
Strong start, Senator Josh Hawley. And by the way, I love the hair.