Armchair Expert: Ashe on Success, Grief, Boundaries, and Healing

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So I just listened to this incredible Armchair expert episode with Dax Shepard, Monica Padman, and the singer Ashe, and it starts with the most charming story. Apparently, Dax and Ashe met at a wedding, and she literally looked across the room and said, "I want to meet you." That's such a great meet-cute, and weddings really do create that unique atmosphere, don't they? There's this instant trust because everyone's been co-signed by the people getting married. Exactly. Ashe actually talks about that social permission weddings create where strangers feel more candid because they're gathered around someone they all respect. But here's what's fascinating— she says, "I presented bubbly, I present extroverted, but I very much am not." She and Dax dive into how introverted people can still shine in the right room. I love that distinction. But the conversation goes much deeper than just their first meeting, right? They get into some really vulnerable territory about boundaries and access. Absolutely. Ashe makes this powerful point: "No one has permission to my access without me saying, 'Hey, yes.'" It's simple, but it reflects how often women are expected to respond, explain, or remain available, even when they don't want to be.

And they don't shy away from the physical realities either. Ashe talks openly about using the Flow app to track her cycles, learning how different weeks feel different. And she discusses freezing her eggs after previously dealing with PCOS and birth control. She describes the whole process as intimidating, but necessary. That physical conversation leads into a larger emotional one. Ashe explains that during periods of success, "My body is waiting for disaster." The reason is that her life has been shaped by instability and trauma, so good news can still feel like the moment before something breaks. That's heartbreaking. And she speaks plainly about grief, right? Her brother died of a heroin overdose in 2020, right after her breakout moment with "Moral of the Story."

That success and that loss arrived close together.

Yes, and she says her nervous system still reacts as if the floor could drop out at any time. She also describes a childhood marked by chaos—"There was thing after thing after thing," including a house bombing tied to her brother's gang affiliation and other violent episodes. That kind of upheaval makes you hyper-prepared for crisis, even if it also trains your body to expect it. Has she found ways to heal from all of that?

She has. Therapy, including EMDR, has helped, and Ashe says she's now the healthiest version of herself. Still, she admits her body remains keyed up, especially around success, performance, and the fear that joy will be followed by loss. What about music? I imagine that's been therapeutic too.

Music gave her something lasting—a place of control, expression, and relief. She says songwriting let her turn experience into something she could hold, while performance gave her a high she has to learn how to manage after the show ends. The episode closes on career and the road ahead, doesn't it? It does. Ashe talks about touring, her new album *The Girl of Your Dreams*, and her hope that motherhood and success can move forward together.

Through all of it, she keeps returning to one steady thought: "I am safe in the life I've created for myself."