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Judge John Hodgman Podcast Transcripts

John Hodgman and Maximum Fun · 830 episodes with transcripts

Have your real-life disputes settled in Fake Internet Court! Despite no legal background, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are the arbiters of justice that you need. No case is too big or too small. They judge them all! Is a hot dog a sandwich? When does a collection become a hoard?

Spoken has transcripts of 830 Judge John Hodgman episodes, with the speakers named. The newest listed here is from October 7, 2026.

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Every Judge John Hodgman transcript in one script

830 episodes of Judge John Hodgman have transcripts. Fetch them all as speaker-labeled Markdown in one script — 1 credit each, and re-fetching one you already have is free:

archive.sh
curl -s -H "x-api-key: YOUR_KEY" \
  https://spoken.md/podcasts/337713843/episodes \
  | jq -r '.episodes[] | "\(.id) \(.title)"' \
  | while IFS=' ' read -r id title; do
      slug=$(echo "$title" | tr '[:upper:]' '[:lower:]' | tr -cs 'a-z0-9' '-' | sed 's/-*$//')
      [ -f "${id}-${slug}.md" ] && continue
      curl -sf -H "x-api-key: YOUR_KEY" \
        -o "${id}-${slug}.md" \
        https://spoken.md/transcripts/$id || rm -f "${id}-${slug}.md"
      sleep 0.34
    done

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Latest Judge John Hodgman transcripts

Jamaican Patties, Joey Pants, and Jazz

October 7, 2026

Jesse Thorn (0:02)

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I am bailiff Jesse Thorn. We're in chambers clearing the docket.

I have to say, John, yes, it was 107 degrees in Los Angeles yesterday.

John Hodgman (0:16)

Yeah.

Jesse Thorn (0:18)

And frankly, I wish that we were recording this from, like, a dark, cool hole in the ground.

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Any Judge John Hodgman episode comes back as Markdown with the speakers named, one credit each.

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curl -H "x-api-key: YOUR_KEY" \
  https://spoken.md/transcripts/1000793677226

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