Jamaican Patties, Joey Pants, and Jazz

Jesse Thorn (0:02)

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I am bailiff Jesse Thorn. We're in chambers clearing the docket.

I have to say, John, yes, it was 107 degrees in Los Angeles yesterday.

John Hodgman (0:16)

Yeah.

Jesse Thorn (0:18)

And frankly, I wish that we were recording this from, like, a dark, cool hole in the ground.

John Hodgman (0:25)

Well, Jesse, speaking from a dark, cool hole in the ground known as September in Maine, we're having a heat wave here, too. If you're watching on the YouTube at Judge John Hodgman pod, you'll see I'm sweating, sweating up here in my autumn chambers because it hit 70 degrees.

Oh, my glasses are all fogged up. I'm all heated up because it's so hot here in Maine, 70 degrees.

Jesse Thorn (0:49)

How are we going to record this when you have the vapors?

John Hodgman (0:52)

It might even go to 71 But meanwhile, I've got the brand new gavel, and we're going to gavel good on the docket.

Jesse Thorn (1:02)

Guys, we're going to gavel good.

John Hodgman (1:04)

We're not going to gavel bad. We're going to gavel good.

Jesse Thorn (1:07)

Here's something from Aziz Light Half Calorie on r slash Maximum Fun.

John Hodgman (1:13)

I'm so sad that that's a handle. I thought that was a real name.

Jesse Thorn (1:20)

That is a user name on Reddit that reads like when AOL used to randomly give you a name.

John Hodgman (1:28)

Yeah.

Jesse Thorn (1:30)

Aziz Light Half Calorie says, when my sister drags me to a garage sale, I like to do something I call a reverse garage sale. Oh no. Oh no, John.

John Hodgman (1:44)

Oh yes. Aziz Light Half Calorie has got to figure it out.

Jesse Thorn (1:48)

I sneak a few small like new items from my own home into the merchandise.

John Hodgman (1:53)

Sure you do.

Jesse Thorn (1:54)

I even pre-label with price tags and everything. The garage sale organizers get the money. I get some stuff out of my house. I consider that a win-win.

But my sister hates it when I do this. I don't see the harm. Please rule that I'm allowed to reverse garage sale.

John Hodgman (2:16)

Aziz Light Half Calorie, you've done it. Again, I presume, because I can't imagine this is the first time you've done it.

I've got a feeling on this, but before we get into it, Jesse, you hit any good garage sales lately?

Jesse Thorn (2:31)

I'm having a garage sale on Saturday, John.

It will have passed by the time this episode is released. But on Saturday, I'm having my first garage sale in many years.

I go out and sell at the flea market every once in a while, and I have my own store at putthisonshop.com. So I do have like a I have like an out an out valve on my home. You know what I mean? I don't I don't need a garage sale in order to clear things out. No, I'm moving right. So I needed I needed a way to thin the sporting goods before I try and take things to Goodwill or whatever.

John Hodgman (3:15)

Now, Jesse, by now you mentioned that this garage sale is over. So everything's gone, even the stuff that I presume Elliot Kalin came by and dropped reverse garage sale into your garage sale.

Jesse Thorn (3:29)

He brought some he brought some of the worms he raises in his garage.

John Hodgman (3:33)

Yeah, brought some of those worms, brought a vermaform compost bin, put a little price tag on it, 50 cents or free.

What's the thing that's going away in your garage sale that you feel most two ways about? Like maybe you wish you had kept it.

Jesse Thorn (3:52)

I'm going to sell my bed.

John Hodgman (3:54)

Whoa, OK.

Jesse Thorn (3:56)

I've decided that my bed does not suit my new home. I'm moving to Berkeley, California, incidentally. Nothing will change on the program.

SPEAKER_3 (4:06)

Go ahead and dock yourself.

Jesse Thorn (4:07)

I want to emphasize nothing will change on the program. Just moving to be closer to family. My mom's 82, etc, etc.

I've decided that this bed is too Victorian. It is appropriately Victorian for my Victorian home. It is excessively Victorian for the 1980 home that I have purchased in Berkeley, California. And so, because every single thing that we have, that we're bringing the 350 miles from Los Angeles to Berkeley is a big production, I figured if there's a big thing and it's not right, we're leaving it behind. So either it's selling at that garage sale or I'm going to post it to probably to Craig's List. Shout out to Judge John Hodgman listener Craig from Craig's List.