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Absolutely Not Podcast Transcripts

Dear Media · 411 episodes with transcripts

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time.

Spoken has transcripts of 411 Absolutely Not episodes, with the speakers named. The newest listed here is from October 9, 2026.

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411 episodes of Absolutely Not have transcripts. Fetch them all as speaker-labeled Markdown in one script — 1 credit each, and re-fetching one you already have is free:

archive.sh
curl -s -H "x-api-key: YOUR_KEY" \
  https://spoken.md/podcasts/1469643813/episodes \
  | jq -r '.episodes[] | "\(.id) \(.title)"' \
  | while IFS=' ' read -r id title; do
      slug=$(echo "$title" | tr '[:upper:]' '[:lower:]' | tr -cs 'a-z0-9' '-' | sed 's/-*$//')
      [ -f "${id}-${slug}.md" ] && continue
      curl -sf -H "x-api-key: YOUR_KEY" \
        -o "${id}-${slug}.md" \
        https://spoken.md/transcripts/$id || rm -f "${id}-${slug}.md"
      sleep 0.34
    done

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Latest Absolutely Not transcripts

Bonus: Call Nancy Grace, Not Me!

October 9, 2026

Heather McMahan (0:00)

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not podcast. I'm your host, Heather McMahan, and this podcast is where we do the most and the least at the same damn time. Now, let's get into the show.

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Any Absolutely Not episode comes back as Markdown with the speakers named, one credit each.

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