Your Money Habits Matter More Than Math

Dave Ramsey (0:02)

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Normal is broken, common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the FAIRWINDS Credit Union studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thanks for hanging out with us. Rachel Cruze, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour. My daughter is my co-host today. The phone number here is 888-825-5225. The call is free and some say the advice is worth what you pay for it. All right, Renee is in Knoxville. Hi Renee, how are you?

SPEAKER_2 (0:47)

I'm doing well, how are you?

Dave Ramsey (0:49)

Better than I deserve. What's up?

SPEAKER_2 (0:51)

Thank you for taking my call.

I am very concerned about my parents. They are both retired. Their income that they bring in is roughly around $4,000 a month. And their debt has surmounted greatly since they have retired. And I'm very concerned at where that's going to lead, because I feel like it's going to be directed toward me and my husband to help them. And I just don't think that's fair.

Dave Ramsey (1:22)

I agree, okay.

Rachel Cruze (1:24)

How old are they?

SPEAKER_2 (1:26)

Let's see, 73 and 76

Rachel Cruze (1:30)

Okay, and how old are you guys?

SPEAKER_2 (1:32)

53

Rachel Cruze (1:33)

Okay.

SPEAKER_2 (1:35)

And, but they own three homes, one of which my cousin lives in and my brother lives in the other one, and neither of them pay rent. My parents pay the insurance, they pay the taxes. And I don't think that's right. And I don't know how to address it.

You know, especially when my mom tells me that she is trying to scrounge for coins to go get a five for $14.99 from the grocery store. And she was asking my advice about consolidating her credit cards because that debt has gotten so much that she can't keep up with it. They need new tires on their van.

Dave Ramsey (2:16)

Say to her, why don't you have my lame brother and my lame cousin pay you rent? And then we wouldn't be having this discussion?

SPEAKER_2 (2:24)

I've tried.

Dave Ramsey (2:25)

No, I mean, if that's the answer to her question, if she says, I'm trying to scrounge coins. Well, you know, the reason is, is because you give the house away to lame-o over here who needs to get a job and pay you rent.

SPEAKER_2 (2:35)

Exactly.

SPEAKER_5 (2:36)

And she...

SPEAKER_2 (2:37)

Don't call me whining. So listen. Right. And, you know, I don't know how to have a deeper conversation with her, you know, when they're in this situation. And they had a friend that gave them $400.

And, you know, I just, I don't think that's fair because he's on a fixed income too.

Rachel Cruze (3:00)

Are they looking to change, Renee? I know she's calling and complaining to you, but do you have hope that truly if you laid out some kind of plan that they would want to follow it, or are they going to be just stuck in their ways? Because there's a point that they can just complain, right? And then there's other attitudes that are desperate and really wanting change. It doesn't sound like they're going to, they want to change.

SPEAKER_2 (3:24)

I don't see a change. She tells me that she's actually trying to go back to work. Where's your father?

Dave Ramsey (3:31)

Why are you having all this discussion with your mother? Where's he?

SPEAKER_2 (3:36)

He won't go back to work, for sure.

Dave Ramsey (3:38)

No, I said, where is he? Why isn't he in this discussion?

SPEAKER_2 (3:43)

Because she wears the pants in that family.

Dave Ramsey (3:46)

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_2 (3:47)

All right. Yeah. And his advice doesn't work. And so it's all her.

And everything falls on her.

Dave Ramsey (3:59)

And you know, my grandmother used to say, my grandmother used to say, those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still.

So I doubt you're going to fix this. You're just going to have to watch it burn to the ground. It sounds like the only option you've got is to just sit down with your mom and your dad in the room, in person, and turn off the television and say, we need to have a real serious discussion. You people are screwing up your lives, and I love you, and I don't want to watch you burn this to the ground.

And you know, you haven't been that direct. You've kind of just patted her on the hand. Right. And just kind of say, well, mom, I'm sorry. It's kind of numb what you're doing, but you haven't really gone. You people are screwing up here. Well, and what's full stop, you know? Yeah, right. And I doubt you're going to get their attention.