Why We’re Having Less Sex — and Why It Matters (ft. Dr. Debra Soh)

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**Scott Galloway** (1:37)
Episode 409 409 is the area code serving southeastern Texas. In 2009, Uber was founded. True story, I was going on a date and the girl asked me to pick her up in an Uber. And I said, well, it's pretty expensive. Is it okay if my wife gives us a ride?

**Debra Soh** (1:56)
Go, go, go!

**Scott Galloway** (2:05)
Welcome to the 409th episode of The Prof G Pod. In today's episode, we speak with Dr. Debra Soh, a neuroscientist who specializes in human sexuality and biological explanations for behavior. We discuss her latest book, Sextinction, The Decline of Sex and the Future of Intimacy, and the Forces Reshaping Sex, Relationship, and Human Connection. So we think about this a lot in the context of struggling young men who are having a difficult time forming relationships, and obviously sex is a part of that. I think Dr. Soh is having a great moment. It's like, what's with all these amazing neuroscientists? Anyways, super smart, another young voice. We love to try and find and I don't want to say discover, but bring some sunlight and elevate young voices who are just incredibly impressive and Dr. Soh fits that bill. Really impressive woman. Just super, I really enjoyed this conversation. Anyways, with that, we hope you also enjoy our conversation with Dr. Debra Soh.
Dr. Soh, where does this podcast find you?

**Debra Soh** (3:14)
I'm in Toronto.

**Scott Galloway** (3:15)
It really is a wonderful city. I think of it as sort of a clean New York.
By the way, congratulations, you're blowing up for lack of a better term. And I immediately forwarded to our producers and said, we have to get Debra Soh on the podcast. I love the work you're doing. The first line of your book, Sex Stinction, reads, society has never been more sexualized, yet we are having less sex than ever before. And one piece of data you cite is that in the United States, one in three men and one in five women across all adults, regardless of marital status, report not having had sex in last year. According to the General Societal Survey, can you give us a rundown as to why this is happening? What is the sex extinction and what's causing it?

**Debra Soh** (3:58)
Yes. Well, thank you for your kind words too.
So I noticed this trend starting in 2016, because that was the first time data had been published showing that there is this decline in sex that was happening across America. And so in that study, it showed, it was based on, as you said, that sample of data that is nationally representative of Americans, showing that millennials were the first generation to be showing a very pronounced decline in sexual activity, and this was expected to continue on for Gen Z. And since then, more data has come out, consistently showing that there is this trend across the globe. Doesn't matter, as you said, marital status, age cohorts, of people having less sex than ever before.
And it is most pronounced in millennials and Gen Z, and among those generations, among young men in particular. So, Sextinction, my book, is about trying to understand why is this trend happening, what is taking the place of sex, and my interest in sexual inactivity is partially because I used to study human sexuality scientifically, but also because it, to me, is a reflection of emotional intimacy and connection more widely. So if people are less interested in having sex, what is taking its place? Why are people less interested? And if this is even happening among married people and people who are partnered up, I don't think that's necessarily a good sign of where we're headed in society. But also I wrote the book as a guide for parents because we know so much more now about social media and screens and how technology has the potential to really derail young people's development. And in Sex, Tension, I talk a lot about how I think Gen Z has unfortunately been, to some extent, a guinea pig generation because many of these technologies, they grew up not knowing a world without them. And I don't think parents should be blamed for that. But now that we do know more, hopefully being able to prevent further harm, potentially to future generations and to adults as well, because I do think we're also being affected. Just because our brains are more developed, doesn't mean we're completely immune to these changes.