Why do we get the post-sex blues?

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**Bababam** (1:04)
Why do we get the post-sex blues?
Thanks for asking.
If you've ever felt strangely sad after having sex, you may have wondered what on earth was wrong with you. After all, we're supposed to lie around in a haze, or cuddle up to our partner in a state of post-orgasmic bliss every single time. At least that's what popular culture would have us believe. But rest assured, if that's not the case for you, you're not alone. Indeed, a lot of people have experienced what's called post-coital dysphoria, also known colloquially as the post-sex blues. It refers to the negative emotions people sometimes feel immediately after having sex. And it's more common than you might think. A study on the condition was published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy in 2018
It was based on a questionnaire that 1,208 men took, of which 41% said they had had the post-sex blues at least once in their lives. Meanwhile, research published in the Sexual Medicine Journal in 2015 showed that 46% of women reported it. What kind of feelings are we talking about? A range of negative emotions have been linked to post-coital dysphoria, including sadness, irritability, isolation, agitation, anxiety and depression for example. One theory suggests it may be down to hormonal activity in our bodies. This peaks during sex and then drops once the simulation ends. Let's listen to YouTuber Kristen Conger talking about this effect as part of a podcast for the Stuff Mum Never Told You Show.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:42)
After we have an orgasm, Prolactin increases in our brains to inhibit dopamine receptors and also to produce feelings of sexual satisfaction, closeness, general chillaxing.

**Bababam** (2:59)
One thing is clear, even after you've finished having sex, there's still a lot of science going on inside your body.
Could it be psychological too? Other theories suggest post-coital dysphoria could be down to people's feelings about sex or their relationship, body image issues or other forms of stress. Bear in mind the post-sex blues can come on even after an orgasm, so don't let it fool you or your partner into assuming you're not satisfied sexually. Relationship conflict could be an underlying problem, but findings from the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggest that there's no link between post-coital dysphoria and the lack of intimacy in close relationships. It can happen to men and women who are happily married or in long-term monogamous relationships. The response can also be linked to sexual abuse that has occurred in the past, even in childhood. What's the best way to beat the blues then? The post-sex blues can feel overwhelming, but self-care practices should do the world of good. We recommend breathing exercises and meditation to feel more relaxed. It's important to open up to your partner too, who may be wondering why you're not feeling happy after having sex with them. If it's the other way around and your partner is the one feeling depressed, listen to what they have to say and give them space they don't feel ready to open up right away. If it becomes a regular thing, you may want to consider seeing a therapist to work through your feelings.
There you have it.
Now you know why we get the post-sex blues. In under three minutes, we answer your questions and help you understand the true meaning behind the trends, concepts, and acronyms that are making headlines. Listen along and you will really know for sure.

**SPEAKER_2** (4:46)
Bababam!