When boomer "collectibles" become millennial "inheritance"

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

Running a business is hard enough, so why make it harder with a dozen different apps that don't talk to each other? Introducing Odoo, the only business software you'll ever need. It's an all-in-one, fully integrated platform that makes your work easier, from CRM, accounting, inventory, e-commerce and more. And the best part, Odoo replaces multiple expensive platforms for a fraction of the cost. This is why over thousands of businesses have made the switch. So why not you?

Try Odoo for free at odoo.com. That's odoo.com. Everyday companies make billions selling your personal info. Data brokers scrape your name, addresses, phone numbers, even details about your family and sell it without your consent. Aura fights back. They remove your data from broker sites, keep it off and alert you if your info shows up on the dark web. You also get VPN, antivirus and a password manager.

Start your free trial today and protect yourself now at aura.com/private. That's aura.com/private.

Alice (1:00)

Hey, all. It's Alice. I'm here with a special bonus episode for you. So we just released a mailbag episode called Listener's Way In. Wedding hacks, questionable investments, and a fix for doom spending. Check it out if you haven't already.

In that episode, Reema and I talked about one of our favorite episodes of the show, The Things We Leave Behind. It's about a woman who loses her dad and then learns he'd been keeping financial secrets for her whole life.

We're dropping that in the feed today if you want to listen. It came out in 2024, but we've got an update for you, so make sure you listen to the end to hear it. Here's the episode.

Amanda Petteruti (1:37)

Dementia, in my opinion, takes your worst qualities and just turns them up to 11

Reema Khrais (1:46)

Last year, Amanda Petteruti had to watch her dad suffer from dementia. It was painful, seeing him become confused, argumentative, no longer the affectionate dad reaching for hugs.

Amanda Petteruti (1:57)

And that's so hard for the people that are left, because you don't want to remember the aspects of them that were the most challenging. You want to remember the ones that were joyful and playful and, yeah, it sucked a whole lot.

We tried memory care, but he declined really quickly, and eventually he just passed, so it was a tough year.

Reema Khrais (2:27)

Her dad's death brought not just grief, but a to-do list. Her mom made phone calls informing everyone of the news. They organized a wake, filled out paperwork, hunted down important documents.

And then Amanda, her mom and her brother, started going through his stuff, all the many things he'd accumulated over his lifetime.

Amanda Petteruti (2:48)

He definitely kept stuff that was like, what are you doing? We threw away the toilet seats that he'd kept for 20 years. I don't know why.

Reema Khrais (2:58)

Huh, wait, toilet seats?

Amanda Petteruti (3:00)

Yeah, I don't know why he did this. I have no idea why. We just kept finding more stuff.

Reema Khrais (3:09)

They sifted through his collections of sci-fi novels, of t-shirts, all his stamps. And then, they opened this closet door.

Amanda Petteruti (3:18)

And there's stacks of these toolboxes and suitcases.

Reema Khrais (3:23)

Picture a closet stacked wall to wall with old school suitcases and toolboxes, all secured with locks.

Amanda Petteruti (3:29)

And they're heavy. So, it's not like I could be like, oh, let me scoot these over so I can come in here.

Reema Khrais (3:38)

Her dad had put those boxes there. Amanda had noticed them even when he was alive, but she knew it was best not to ask questions. The family understood that certain things of his were off limits.

It was his.

Amanda Petteruti (3:51)

It was Ross Petteruti's. It was not anybody else's, and it was not of her discussion.

We all knew that if even in his cognitive decline knew that we touched those, oh, they'd be held to pay.

Reema Khrais (4:07)

But now with her dad gone, they had no choice but to unlock those boxes, to see what he'd been so closely guarding.

And what they found inside would rattle Amanda. It changed the way she thought of her family's finances and the way she grieved her dad.

Amanda Petteruti (4:23)

I knew there were all these boxes. I didn't know just how much he was spending until we started seeing invoices.

Reema Khrais (4:40)

I'm Reema Grace, and you're listening to This Is Uncomfortable. This is the first of a three-part mini-series we're doing around money, grief, and loss. We're going to get into some uncomfortable questions. Like how should you prepare for your own death? Should you set a limit on how much you'll spend on your pet when they're sick? And what do you do when you discover that a person you love took financial secrets to the grave? That last question is one that Amanda brought to us. She's a listener of the show and she emailed us about this predicament she's in, dealing with all the stuff her dad left behind, and the difficult emotions and questions they brought up for her.