What is trauma dumping, the toxic equivalent of oversharing?

**Joseph Chance** (0:04)
What is Trauma Dumping? The toxic equivalent of oversharing.
Thanks for asking.
It's common for good friends to tell each other about pretty much everything going on in their lives. Within healthy friendships, it's a way of bonding and supporting one another, especially when one of the friends is struggling. But sometimes this goes drastically overboard, and someone shares something really personal traumatic without prior warning or getting permission.
That kind of unsolicited oversharing has been labelled trauma dumping. Bear in mind trauma dumping is not a clinical term. It caught on online after a woman, apparently a therapist, posted a video on TikTok deriding one of her patients. She used the caption, when a client wants to trauma dump first session. Wait a minute, aren't therapists supposed to be there to listen to your problems? Indeed, many commenters expressed shock at the video. A number of people said it made them feel discouraged and anxious about going to therapy. But there's a difference between seeing a therapist and relying on your friend to listen to heavy information when they might not be equipped to deal with it. Of course friends are there to listen, but it shouldn't be one way traffic. Furthermore, it doesn't leave any space for the other friend to talk about their own emotions. Certified Psychiatrist Dr. Ish Major described trauma dumping during an appearance on American talk show The Doctors in early 2022

**Ish Major** (1:33)
It's emotional terrorism, I'm holding you hostage. I took you hostage, you didn't, I didn't have your permission, and I don't care because I'm hurting and you need to deal with it.

**Joseph Chance** (1:43)
What are the negative consequences of trauma dumping? There's a mix of emotion for the person or people on the receiving end. Of course they want to help their friend, but are often powerless to do so and feel drained by shouldering the burden. Trauma dumping isn't usually geared towards problem solving either. It's more about the temporary relief that comes with discharging emotions. But the most likely long term result is that you end up driving away people who matter to you when they get fed up. And don't forget that the person you're over sharing to may have their own baggage. You might end up triggering their own unresolved traumas.
What's the best way to deal with trauma dumping?
If you're on the receiving end, it's important to protect yourself and judge the situation. If it feels like it's out of your scope, it probably is. You might want to steer them towards getting professional help. Gently make them aware that you're probably not the best person to offer help with that particular trauma. Meanwhile, if you're the one who wants to share something very personal, give your friend a heads up before doing so. Let's listen to some tips on that from Dr. Courtney Tracy, also known as the Trauma Doctor on YouTube.

**Courtney Tracy** (2:53)
You could say things like, hey, I'm going through a really tough time right now, and I was hoping that I could vent to you. You could also say, there's some things going on in my life right now that I would love to talk to someone about, but they're really heavy. Do you have time to talk to me about that today or maybe in the next couple of days?

**Joseph Chance** (3:08)
That way, you'll always be mindful of trauma dumping on your friends and avoid awkward situations. There you have it, now you know what trauma dumping is. In under three minutes, we answer your questions. What would you like to know about? Use the comments section to send us your questions.
Bye bye.