What is the Romeo and Juliet effect?

Amber Minogue (0:04)

What is the Romeo and Juliet effect?

Thanks for asking. When someone tells you not to do something, it often becomes even more tempting, which is why as a teenager, when your parents forbade you from seeing a certain boyfriend or girlfriend, you felt even more passionate about them. Now psychologists have looked into what causes the so-called Romeo and Juliet effect. Why is it called this? Psychologists at the University of Colorado chose the name of Shakespeare's play following an experiment which was conducted in 1972 In the 16th century play, the two protagonists fall in love despite coming from different sides of feuding families. The researchers interviewed 140 couples and found that parental interference may intensify the feelings of romantic love between some couples, at least for a brief span of time. The researchers attribute this to the theory of reactants. In other words, how people react when they feel their freedom of choice is threatened or reduced. According to the theory, people experience an unpleasant motivational state called reactants, which makes them resist the source of the threat and try to restore their freedom. Although later studies have shown the opposite, the success of a relationship is often dependent on the approval of the couple's family and close friends. This is known as the social network effect.

So does family approval make or break love? Well, it's not an exact science. It depends on the person. According to a 2015 study by the University of Mississippi, there are different types of reactants. Defiant reactants. This refers to people who tend to do the opposite of what they are told. If they're told to speak less loudly, they'll shout. And independent reactants, people who tend to make their own choices without worrying too much about what they're told to do. These people would choose to speak less loudly or not at all, depending on what seems appropriate to them. In terms of relationships, a defiant person will continue their romance in secret, while an independent person will decide whether or not to continue the relationship according to their own criteria.

The balance between the Romeo and Juliet effect and the social network effect varies from one individual to another, but also from one culture to another. Regardless, like Romeo and Juliet, it's hard to keep a relationship going if everyone around you is opposed to it. And does the Romeo and Juliet effect only happen when families get in the way of love?

The phenomenon of becoming more attached to someone unattainable may result from our childhood experiences. Perhaps love was withheld or we only received cold or distant signs of affection. Or it could be from the dopamine rush we get when we're in love. Dopamine is a chemical that makes us happy and motivated. It keeps us hooked on the same person and prevents us from moving on. There you have it.

Now you know what the Romeo and Juliet effect is. In under three minutes, we answer your questions and help you understand the true meaning behind the trends, concepts and acronyms that are making headlines. Listen along and you really will know for sure.

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