What impact does your first love have on the rest of your life?

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**Amber Minogue** (0:59)
What impact does your first love have on the rest of your life?
Thanks for asking.
Most of us never really forget the person who first made our heart race, or that awkward, wonderful, or maybe disappointing teenage kiss. Whether it was magic or a mess, that first experience often leaves a mark that shapes the way we see relationships as adults.
How can one relationship have such a lasting effect? Well, first love is when the brain's pleasure and emotion circuits light up for the very first time. It's a cocktail of euphoria, vulnerability, and discovery, and it sticks with us. Think of it like your first trip away with friends, no parents around. You remember it forever because it was new, intense, and formative. A British study published by Cosmopolitan in 2020 found that six in ten people regularly think about their first love. Not too surprising when you consider that it usually happens in adolescence, a time when every feeling is heightened. So do we keep comparing every relationship to that first one? In a way, yes. Whether it was joyful or heartbreaking, first love becomes a reference point. Some of us end up chasing the same feelings or patterns, while others do everything possible to avoid repeating old wounds. Psychiatrists and sexologists Philip Brenno points out that first love sets the stage for our expectations, our fears, and even our relationship habits later in life. Does it matter if that first relationship was happy or painful? Absolutely. A healthy, affectionate first bond can boost self-confidence and help you trust in love. But a sudden breakup or a toxic relationship can shake that confidence, feeding fears of abandonment and creating what psychologists call an anxious attachment style.
Freud argued that early emotional and sexual experiences shape the unconscious, influencing the patterns we repeat in love. Even if we forget the person, we often don't forget the way we love them, and that can show up later as fear of intimacy, emotional unavailability, or on the flip side, a need for intense fusion. And what happens if your first love was a positive experience?
That's when things get interesting. If your first love was grounded in respect, tenderness, and reciprocity, it can set you up with a strong foundation. You feel lovable, capable of loving, and safe for letting people in. Even if the relationship itself doesn't last, it helps clarify what you want, what you don't want, and where to set your boundaries going forward. There you have it. Now you know the impact your first love has on the rest of your life. In under three minutes, we answer your questions and help you understand the true meaning behind the trends, concepts, and acronyms that are making headlines. Listen along and you really will know for sure.