What 30 Years of Marriage Taught Us

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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Tony DiLorenzo (0:59)

From Estero, Florida, this is the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show. We're being busy as overdone, romancing is fun, and scheduling sex has taken the guesswork out of wondering when you're going to get some. Creators of the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, I'm Tony DiLorenzo, your co-host along with my beautiful wife, Alisa. From coast to coast and around the world, thank you for joining us. It's time to talk sex, love and commitment. Give us a call or text us on the HUG hotline at 858-875-663 or send us an email to HUGS at oneextraordinarymarriage.com.

In today's episode, we're reflecting on 30 years of marriage. What surprised us, what tested us, and what we understand now that we could not have known when we said, I do, in 1996

Alisa DiLorenzo (1:50)

That's the way that math works. That is the math, math-ing.

As we start today's episode, there's a quote from Mignon McLaughlin that says, a successful marriage requires falling in love many times. Oh, yes. Always with the same person. That is very true. That is very true. As we talk about our 30th throughout this episode and just the insights that it gave us on marriage, I think a big part of that undercurrent is the fact that, or the through line, I guess, undercurrent is the fact that we have fallen in love with one another many, many times over the last 30 years. But first, we start every episode with a hug. A hug is really our opportunity to celebrate you, to celebrate the actions that you're taking in your marriage, to celebrate the insights that you gain. This hug comes from, it was actually an email that we received that said, I'm just now listening to When Fun Doesn't Go As Planned, episode 925, and I can relate so much.

I got sick on the first day of our 20th anniversary in Punta Cana at an all-inclusive resort. Then my wife did on our first day at a resort in Mexico this year. Then I got seasickness from snorkeling and we had to cancel the second half of an excursion to a cenote in Mexico. I was so disappointed that we had to cancel it. But ultimately, we both showed each other grace and still had a great time on both of those trips. We just had to push past them and not dwell on them. So I can relate to the feeling of being on a trip or excursion where things don't go as planned. Sometimes we feel like that will be the last opportunity that we'll have to have fun. But at least we learned something about what our bodies can and cannot handle, so we know what things or activities to avoid.

Tony DiLorenzo (3:24)

Yeah, and that comes from the episode where we had gone down to the Keys.

We weren't diving, our friends were diving and we got to go along for this trip with him. I was getting seasick, which I typically don't get.

Alisa DiLorenzo (3:39)

Well, Tony doesn't get seasick on big boats, but apparently little dive boats bobbing in the ocean.

Tony DiLorenzo (3:46)

I was blowing chunks, let's just put it that way.

Alisa DiLorenzo (3:48)

Wow, that's what everybody wanted to know at the top of this episode.

Tony DiLorenzo (3:50)

Well, I mean, it was pretty dramatic. It wasn't the fun we were looking to have.

Alisa DiLorenzo (3:56)

Can we talk about our 30 years before and not digress back into the seasickness episode?

Tony DiLorenzo (4:00)

Yes, sure.

Alisa DiLorenzo (4:01)

Okay, can we do that?

Tony DiLorenzo (4:02)

Let's go.

Alisa DiLorenzo (4:03)

I was thinking about it this morning before we started to record. This is the fourth milestone anniversary that we've had since we've been doing the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show. Because we had 15, 20, 25 and now 30