Tom and Bert's Favorite OF Submissions

Bert Kreischer (0:00)

Take a close, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

Tom Segura (0:10)

Okay.

Bert Kreischer (0:11)

Tom, this is incredible. 100%.

Tom Segura (0:17)

Yep, welcome to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave.

Bert Kreischer (0:22)

Oh shit, I hit pause, fuck. God, Tom, this is insane.

Tom Segura (0:27)

This is the greatest thing I've ever, I'm watching adult footage in virtual reality. So what's going on? What are you seeing?

Bert Kreischer (0:35)

Okay, there is a Russian chick in a red dress.

Tom Segura (0:39)

Okay.

Bert Kreischer (0:40)

And she's sucking my dick. And Tom, I have abs. I have limited pubes. I have skinny legs. My jeans are to the left. I'm in a nice bespoke kitchen. I got it. Oh, oh, now I'm fucking her. Now I'm fucking her. Oh, hold on.

Tom Segura (0:55)

You don't have to thrust. You can just watch.

Bert Kreischer (0:57)

No, it's kind of cool. I'm on the same timing he is. I wish you could touch her.

Tom Segura (1:03)

You can try.

Bert Kreischer (1:05)

Nope. I'm going right through her face.

Tom Segura (1:07)

Okay.

Bert Kreischer (1:09)

Holy shit, Tom, this is next level.

Tom Segura (1:11)

Pretty cool stuff.

Bert Kreischer (1:12)

You should bring this to Riyadh with you.

Tom Segura (1:15)

Something tells me that might not go well.

Bert Kreischer (1:17)

You don't think so?

Tom Segura (1:18)

I don't think so.

Bert Kreischer (1:20)

This is insane. This is crazy. This is the future. Why would you ever data check?

Why would you ever go out to a bar? Why would you ever do anything when you can just bang 10s for real? I gotta try jerking off with it.

Tom Segura (1:33)

Well, not for real. It's virtual.

Bert Kreischer (1:37)

It feels real.

Tom Segura (1:38)

It feels real.

Bert Kreischer (1:39)

It feels real.

Tom Segura (1:39)

That's why you probably get looped into it.

Bert Kreischer (1:42)

Let me shut up.

Tom Segura (1:42)

She's still talking.

Bert Kreischer (1:45)

Let me see. Let me see what she's doing now. Hang on. I'm gonna have her doggy style.

Tom Segura (1:50)

Okay.

Bert Kreischer (1:50)

Hey, just shut up, woman.

Tom Segura (1:55)

I just heard something.

Bert Kreischer (1:56)

Yeah.

Tom Segura (1:57)

All right.

Bert Kreischer (1:57)

She's I'm gonna put her to sleep.

Tom Segura (1:59)

Okay.

Bert Kreischer (2:00)

Dude, I'm ready for a fucking robot check.

Tom Segura (2:02)

Yeah, they're available, man. You can afford it. You should do it.

Bert Kreischer (2:05)

Dude, you can you can design them. They're $3,000. Should we make one? Should we make one and fucking bring it?

Tom Segura (2:10)

Let's make two.

Bert Kreischer (2:14)

Would it be creepy if we made them and we made them look like people we know?

Tom Segura (2:18)

Yeah, that'd be super creepy.

Bert Kreischer (2:19)

And you're like, Sarah, it's gonna come over to my house. I want you to meet my robot chick and she's like, wow. And go, look, it's got a southern accent and everything.

Tom Segura (2:27)

She's like, that's really cool.

Bert Kreischer (2:28)

That's really cool. But wait, why is she pregnant? I was like, I don't know. I liked her better when she was pregnant.

Tom Segura (2:36)

This is a really good idea for you.

Bert Kreischer (2:37)

Yeah. Yeah.

Tom Segura (2:39)

Shout out to Sarah T.

Bert Kreischer (2:41)

That is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Tom Segura (2:42)

She's thrilled.

Bert Kreischer (2:44)

Check out Sarah T on this new special.

Tom Segura (2:46)

Yeah, there you go. That's a good way to spin it. So is that, was that your first time watching it?

Bert Kreischer (2:54)

That's my first time. I've held off all week. I've seen porn.

Tom Segura (2:57)

Just for this moment.

Bert Kreischer (2:58)

I've seen porn in it, but it's just like you're watching a porn. That interactive one is crazy.

Tom Segura (3:05)

That's pretty crazy.

Bert Kreischer (3:06)

I would like that for, I've always said this for a long time, but I'd like that for a podcast where you could put on the VR goggles and sit here and you feel like you're just sitting with us talking to us.

Tom Segura (3:15)

That'd be fun.

Bert Kreischer (3:15)

That would be really fun.

Tom Segura (3:17)

That'd be very cool. That'd be good, man. How are you feeling?

Bert Kreischer (3:21)

I feel great. What did you think about Jimmy Kimmel's monologue when he came back? I haven't talked to you since.