This F*cking Guy: Megyn Kelly

**Erin Ryan** (0:02)
Welcome to another episode of This Fucking Guy, the show where we spotlight one fucking guy making America worse and explain why they suck. I'm Erin Ryan, host of Crooked Media's Hysteria podcast.

**Alyssa Mastromonaco** (0:12)
And I'm Alyssa Mastromonaco, the other host of Crooked Media's Hysteria podcast.

**Erin Ryan** (0:16)
There are some stars who are known for their ability to reinvent themselves, like Madonna, Beyonce, David Bowie.
There are others who can't quite make it, not come across as though they're clout-chasing ponies, like the Cracker Barrel logo or Justin Timberlake. And today's fucking guy, semi-respected journalist turned perpetually apoplectic pod Karen, Megyn Kelly.

**Alyssa Mastromonaco** (0:40)
At first glance, Kelly is a woman of infinite ambition, but looking closer, she's the Jojo Siwa of the right, willing to don ideology like egregious blonde Utah curl hair extensions, if said extensions get her more money and attention.

**Erin Ryan** (0:55)
Which, to be fair, is what most people in media are trying to do. But most people, even the phonies, are better at feigning authenticity than Kelly is. And to paraphrase Kurt Vonnegut, we should be careful who we pretend to be.
After this many iterations of Megyn that look a lot like opportunistic pretending, I don't even know if Megyn Kelly knows who the real Megyn Kelly is.

**Alyssa Mastromonaco** (1:17)
I just hope at this point when she looks in the mirror, she doesn't think she sees Charlize Theron, but more on that later.

**Erin Ryan** (1:23)
Charlize Theron would never with the extensions. Megyn Marie Kelly, which is spelled M-E-G-Y-N because it's short for Megynocologist Kelly, was born on November 18th, 1970 in Champaign, Illinois, the youngest of three children. Her dad Edward was an education professor at SUNY Albany. Her mom Linda was a nurse.

**Alyssa Mastromonaco** (1:42)
Her dad's job moved the family to a small suburb of Albany called Delmar when she was nine. Delmar is known for its treeline streets, small town feel, and about 20 years ago was named one of the best places to live by CNN Money Magazine.

**Erin Ryan** (1:56)
How do people in Delmar feel about her now? Well, Kelly was inducted into Bethlehem Central High School's Alumni Hall of Fame a few years back. But after she made her insane comments defending Jeffrey Epstein last November, a petition garnered more than 800 signatures to have her name removed. Somewhere between Megan getting inducted in 2021 and Megan losing her marbles in 2025, her high school scrapped the Alumni Hall of Fame entirely.
But in high school, Megan lived the 80s suburban dream. She had big puffy aquanet hair. She was co-captain of the cheerleading squad. Somebody who knew her back then tells Hysteria that there were no indications that she would grow up to be such a jerk. She was a popular cheerleader, but she wasn't a mean popular cheerleader. Although that's not her original nose. When her dad died when she was 15, the family had to scrape by on her mother's salary, but that didn't stop Megan from dreaming big. In her high school yearbook, she said her three goals were college, government, wealth.

**Alyssa Mastromonaco** (2:51)
She once took a career aptitude test that determined that the ideal job for her would be news. But Syracuse University disagreed. She was denied admission to the school's broadcast journalism program in the 80s and was forced to settle for studying political science instead.

**Erin Ryan** (3:05)
After Syracuse, she went to SUNY Albany for law school. She did normal law school things like edit the law review alongside slightly less normal law school things like sit on a panel that reviewed sexual misconduct complaints against faculty members. Kelly has said that this experience made her want to be a prosecutor.

**Alyssa Mastromonaco** (3:22)
Until she discovered what prosecutors make. Megyn wants money, remember? So she became a corporate lawyer and did a little aerobics instructing on the side. She even appeared as a backup extra in an AB focused workout video.

**Erin Ryan** (3:34)
I looked for this footage. Couldn't find it. I'm sure it was great though. I'm sure it was like 90s-tastic. Megyn had it all. A good job, abs, a doctor husband named Daniel Kendall, a new nose at some point. According to the Daily Mail, she and the anesthesiologist had a beautiful church wedding in Chicago 18 days after 9-11 in 2001, followed by a reception at the Waldorf. The couple were picked up in a Rolls Royce.

**Alyssa Mastromonaco** (3:59)
Not even Osama Bin Laden could stop Megyn Kelly's wedding reception.

**Erin Ryan** (4:03)
That's ambition. Eventually, Megyn's law career propelled her to conservative goober megafirm Jones Day. One of her clients was Experian, the credit reporting bureau.