Things Only White People Say

**Hammer** (0:00)
Nigel, there's a story online about the whitest phrases of all time.
These are things that whities, white people say, but really nobody else. Like, you don't hear too many members of the urban community saying these phrases, okay?

**Nigel** (0:20)
Okay, hit me.

**Hammer** (0:22)
Newsflash, buddy.
How about, you're on thin ice, Buster. Like, the names is like a total white guy power move, right? Like Buddy and Buster and here's one. Hold your horses, pal. Pal.

**Nigel** (0:47)
I got a white mom one for you.

**Hammer** (0:49)
Oh.

**Nigel** (0:49)
Like a wine mom, a white wine mom. It's wine o'clock.

**Hammer** (0:55)
Oh, yes, yes.
Allison, feel free to weigh in with white girl phrases here. If you come across them or some that you find yourself saying from time to time, I find it hard to believe that you work with the Home and Garden Show and don't hear some good old fashioned white phrases from time to time.

**Allison** (1:13)
Oh, I mean, easily like gee whiz.

**Nigel** (1:17)
Cool beans.

**Hammer** (1:20)
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

**Nigel** (1:22)
Can I speak to your manager?

**Hammer** (1:24)
Oh, that's full Karen. Yes. Not only are you the white woman, you've got the Kate Gosselin hairstyle rocking that bad boy.

**Nigel** (1:31)
I got one that Hammer did to me earlier, just like about a half hour ago, when you were trying to get past me and I wouldn't scoot up, you go, let me just squeeze right past you there.
That's a white phrase. Yes. Let me just squeeze right past you there.

**Hammer** (1:47)
Whether you're going to your seat at a movie or a ball game or in my case, trying to get to the bathroom and your fat ass co-worker doesn't want to move his chair.

**Nigel** (1:56)
I didn't move my chair.

**Hammer** (1:57)
I was sat right there, didn't move an inch.

**Nigel** (1:59)
I wasn't paying attention. My bad.

**Hammer** (2:03)
Again, we're talking about this story online. Popular white phrases, things that the white man says. Get a load of this guy.
It's another good one.

**Nigel** (2:17)
I love it when Tiger Woods because Tiger Woods is African American, but he sounds like every comedian that imitates a white guy when he talks. And I'll never forget, he's on the tee, and some guy's got a loud camera, and he turns around and looks at the guy and he goes, Hey, you take enough fricking pictures?
I'll never. That's been in my mind for 20 years when he yelled at the guy.

**Hammer** (2:44)
And then when Chappelle used to do the impression of Tiger Woods on the show.

**Nigel** (2:48)
Yes. You guys taking off fricking pictures.

**Allison** (2:52)
Hey, don't forget Nigel's iconic asking P Diddy for a pic. Hey, Diddy, the epitome of a white man right there.

**Nigel** (3:01)
That was in Vegas at the American Music Awards, and he was walking by with his entourage. And Hey, Diddy, Diddy, can I get a pic? I've got my digital camera in one hand, just kind of just sheepishly holding it up.

**Hammer** (3:16)
Was it hanging around your neck like a tourist?

**Nigel** (3:20)
And like like a record scratched in his entourage just all looked at me and he goes, no, and then kept walking.

**Hammer** (3:29)
It may have been the best thing that ever happened to you, to be honest with you, Nigel. It may have been the best thing that ever happened to you. It's The Hammer and Nigel Show.