The Summer Bears Phone It In w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano

Stavros Halkias (0:00)

Hey gang, I am gonna be on tour starting this September. I'm gonna be in London September 7th, second show added in London. Then we're gonna be in Dublin on September 12th. After that, coming to America November 6th in Memphis, then Huntsville, Alabama, Chattanooga, Tennessee, Knoxville, Asheville, Greensboro, Wilmington, and then Myrtle Beach, classy Myrtle Beach, Austin, and Boston, and we will be adding more shows soon, but if you wanna come see me, please check me out there.

Chris Distefano (0:32)

That's it, baby. And then I will be, the big one, September 5th, Chicago Theater, September 11th, Theater at Madison Square Garden, and then September 27th, Saudi Arabia, baby. So come see me. I'm also in Boston in October. Got shows lined up at the Wilbur, the Chevalier. Just go to chrisdcomedy.com for Tiki Wikis. Thanks for all the support.

Bert Kreischer (0:55)

100% Cheers.

Chris Distefano (1:00)

What's up everybody? Welcome to the final episode of Summer Bears with Chris DiStefano and Stavros Halikis.

Stavros Halkias (1:10)

Halkiis, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_4 (1:11)

Damn it!

Chris Distefano (1:13)

Halkiis.

Stavros Halkias (1:14)

The I is after the K. It's okay.

Chris Distefano (1:16)

And Stavros Segura. Dude, by the way.

Stavros Halkias (1:20)

Oh, I'm Tom now?

Chris Distefano (1:21)

Yeah, I think you are Tom. Have we switched? Yeah.

Stavros Halkias (1:22)

You know, we are Tom. I thought about this actually because a lot of our dynamic is me needling you to tell embarrassing stories.

Chris Distefano (1:29)

Yes.

Stavros Halkias (1:30)

And that kind of is Tom and Bert.

Chris Distefano (1:32)

That is Tom and Bert.

Stavros Halkias (1:32)

Tom kind of sits back and goes, Oh, tell me about that horrifying thing that your family is going to be pissed about you revealing.

Chris Distefano (1:40)

Yes.

Stavros Halkias (1:40)

That's kind of what I do to you.

Chris Distefano (1:41)

Yeah.

Stavros Halkias (1:42)

Even though I'm fat.

Chris Distefano (1:43)

Yeah. Open up, open up your comedy special talking about your daughter's period.

And see it and then film her in school. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_4 (1:53)

Yeah.

Chris Distefano (1:54)

By the way, you do look nice in that purple shirt, which is probably the same color as Bert's liver.

Stavros Halkias (2:02)

It's the royal color. I think... He doesn't have a diseased liver. He has a royal liver.

Chris Distefano (2:07)

That's true.

Stavros Halkias (2:07)

You know, look at it that way.

Chris Distefano (2:08)

Now, this is our final summer episode.

Stavros Halkias (2:11)

It's the last one. I actually can't believe it's six weeks.

Chris Distefano (2:15)

We were only supposed to be signed on for five. They let us go to six because Tom and Bert just don't want to do it anymore.

Stavros Halkias (2:21)

No, no, no. We think this is our last one. If they make us a big enough offer, we'll come back again. But listen, we know we got the bargaining power now.

Honestly, I had no idea what to expect. I was like, oh, Chris, it'll be fun. I love doing pods with Chris. Tom and Bert love those guys. If we can do them a solid, great. I thought people would hate because I'm trying to conceive of a world where you step into someone's podcast and everyone's not pissed off. Right. Right. To me, I was like, this doesn't make any sense. They listen for you guys. I have been shocked at how much people love our episodes.

Chris Distefano (2:54)

People have been stopping me in the stream, be like, thank you for taking over 2 Bears.

Stavros Halkias (2:59)

It almost feels like someone is making them listen to this podcast.

I don't understand. They're strapped in the fucking clockwork orange chair and they have to watch 2 Bears 1 Cave. It's like, oh my God, thank God it's 2 Guys. 2 Guys, we don't really know that well and it's a better show. I have to go back and watch. I guess the show sucks. I always have fun when I do it. I didn't realize people hate it, but this has been great for me. Because this is sort of like the... This is kind of how I want to do... This is what I think of what I want in my life. I would love to be a second husband's stepfather, because it's just nice. Someone has set the bar so low. Tom and Bert are sort of like the guy that knocked the lady up in high school, promised they'd be there forever. They changed, right? They don't treat her well anymore. They're off to Hollywood. Now we're just some guy who pays the bill. We're not doing a good job. We're just not, I guess, just really bad. I don't even understand. They said the bar is so nice and low, we're just kind of fucking around and people act like this is the best entertainment they've ever had in their lives.