The Science & Process of Healing from Grief

**Andrew Huberman** (0:00)
Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life.
I'm Andrew Huberman, and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. Today, we are discussing grief. Grief is a natural emotion that most everybody experiences at some point in their life. However, grief is something that still mystifies most people. For instance, we often wonder why getting over the loss of somebody or a pet is so absolutely crushing. In some cases, it's obvious because we had a very close relationship to that person or animal. But in other cases, it's bewildering because somehow, despite our best efforts, we are unable to reframe and shift our mind to the idea that the person or animal that at one point was here and so very present is now gone. Today, we are going to discuss how we conceptualize grief, both at an emotional and at a logical level. I'm going to teach you about the neuroscience and the psychology of grief and incredible findings that have been made in just a few key laboratories that point to the fact that we essentially map our experience of people in three dimensions. Just give you a little hint of what those dimensions are. They relate to space, where people are, time, when people are. I'll explain what that means. And a dimension called closeness. And how those three dimensions of space, time and closeness are what establish very close bonds with people and are what require remapping, reorganization within our emotional framework and our logical framework when we lose somebody for whatever reason. Within that understanding, I'm confident that you will have greater insight into the grief process. And should you ever find yourself within the grief process, as I imagine most everyone will at some point, you will be able to navigate that process in what psychologists and neuroscientists deem to be the most healthy way of going through grief. Indeed, moving through grief requires a specific form of neuroplasticity, reordering of brain connections, and also the connections between the brain and body. I'm going to teach you about all of that today. So you're going to learn a lot of scientific information. You will also learn a lot of tools that you can put in your kit of emotional and really emotional physical tools that will allow you to move through grief in this healthy way that I referred to earlier. I'll also point out some of the myths about grief. For instance, many of you have probably heard that there are designated stages of grief that everybody moves through. It turns out that recent research refutes that idea. There are different stages of grief, but not everybody experiences all of them. And hardly ever does somebody move through all of those linearly, meaning in the same order. I also want to point out that for many of you that are not experiencing grief in this moment, there's an important scientific literature that teaches us that how we show up to grief, meaning our psychological and our biological state that we happen to be in when a loss occurs, strongly dictates whether or not we end up in what's called complicated or non-complicated grief and non-complicated grief is a form of grief that is very prolonged and in fact often requires that people get substantial professional help. So whether or not you're experiencing grief that's mild, moderate or very intense right now or whether or not you are not experiencing any grief at all, you're going to learn scientific information and tools that will help you navigate through this process that we call grief. Before we begin, I'd like to emphasize that this podcast is separate from my teaching and research roles at Stanford. It is however, part of my desire and effort to bring zero cost to consumer information about science and science related tools to the general public. In keeping with that theme, I'd like to thank the sponsors of today's podcast. Our first sponsor is Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is an all in one vitamin mineral probiotic drink. I've been taking Athletic Greens since 2012 So I'm delighted that they're sponsoring the podcast. The reason I started taking Athletic Greens and the reason I still take Athletic Greens once or twice a day is that it helps me cover all of my basic nutritional needs. It makes up for any deficiencies that I might have. In addition, it has probiotics, which are vital for microbiome health. I've done a couple of episodes now on the so-called gut microbiome and the ways in which the microbiome interacts with your immune system, with your brain to regulate mood and essentially with every biological system relevant to health throughout your brain and body. With Athletic Greens, I get the vitamins I need, the minerals I need and the probiotics to support my microbiome. If you'd like to try Athletic Greens, you can go to athleticgreens.com/huberman and claim a special offer. They'll give you five free travel packs plus a year supply of vitamin D3K2. There are a ton of data now showing that vitamin D3 is essential for various aspects of our brain and body health. Even if we're getting a lot of sunshine, many of us are still deficient in vitamin D3. And K2 is also important because it regulates things like cardiovascular function, calcium in the body and so on. Again, go to athleticgreens.com/huberman to claim the special offer of the five free travel packs and the year supply of vitamin D3K2. Today's episode is also brought to us by Element. Element is an electrolyte drink that has everything you need and nothing you don't. That means the exact ratios of electrolytes are an element and those are sodium, magnesium and potassium, but it has no sugar. I've talked many times before on this podcast about the key role of hydration and electrolytes for nerve cell function, neuron function, as well as the function of all the cells and all the tissues and organ systems of the body. If we have sodium, magnesium and potassium present in the proper ratios, all of those cells function properly and all our bodily systems can be optimized. If the electrolytes are not present and if hydration is low, we simply can't think as well as we would otherwise. Our mood is off, hormone systems go off, our ability to get into physical action, to engage in endurance and strength and all sorts of other things is diminished. So with Element, you can make sure that you're staying on top of your hydration and that you're getting the proper ratios of electrolytes. If you'd like to try Element, you can go to drinkelement. That's lmnt.com/huberman and you'll get a free Element sample pack with your purchase. They're all delicious. So again, if you want to try Element, you can go to elementlmnt.com/huberman.