The Right Financial Decision Starts With Understanding the Problem

SPEAKER_1 (0:02)

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George Kamel (0:12)

Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the FAIRWINDS Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Kamel, joined by Jade Warshaw, and we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. You can't tweet it in, you can't call it in, you can't-

Jade Warshaw (0:33)

Sometimes we do take the social ones. That is true.

George Kamel (0:37)

And you can leave us a voicemail, but that's less fun. So call in live. We've got some open phone lines here, 888-825-5225. Tawny is in Bismarck, North Dakota to kick us off. What's going on, Tawny?

SPEAKER_4 (0:50)

Hi, thanks for taking my call.

George Kamel (0:52)

Sure.

SPEAKER_4 (0:53)

So basically, my whole world imploded on me recently.

George Kamel (0:56)

Oh, no.

SPEAKER_4 (0:57)

I found out that my husband, we've been together for 15, married just over 10, we have two boys, that he's been cheating on me.

For at least two years physically online, who knows how long, but again, we have two boys and all of our assets are combined. We have no debt except for our house. Well, so I thought, because another layer to it, is he has been hiding a significant amount of credit card debt.

Jade Warshaw (1:36)

Yeah, I bet. Having this relationship on the side is costing him.

SPEAKER_4 (1:41)

Yeah, yeah, and so I'm trying to figure out how to move forward with not only that credit card debt, it doesn't have my name on it, but we're married, so I'm responsible for it too. And then what do I do with that? Well, you may not be.

George Kamel (1:56)

I think if I'm the judge, I'm going to go, well, you're an innocent spouse, and he's taken on this credit card debt as part of the judgment. What are you going to do next?

SPEAKER_4 (2:07)

I don't know.

Jade Warshaw (2:09)

Have you spoken to an attorney yet, Tawny?

SPEAKER_4 (2:12)

Not yet. Not yet.

Jade Warshaw (2:14)

I think that might be my first order of business.

SPEAKER_4 (2:17)

Day by day.

George Kamel (2:19)

Yeah, I would see what, you know, and every state has different laws, but I just want to make sure that there's no rash decisions here out of fear or anger that could hurt you later on. And so I think talking to an attorney going, hey, what can I do and should I do legally to protect myself during this awful season that you're going to find yourself in cleaning up this mess?

SPEAKER_4 (2:42)

Yeah.

George Kamel (2:43)

Have you guys talked to each other? How did you find out about all this?

SPEAKER_4 (2:46)

Well, I had lost my phone basically and he was sleeping, so I grabbed his phone and I saw Snapchat, a suspicious looking Snapchat, and I kind of led me to snooping in his phone. First time I've ever done that in 15 years.

SPEAKER_9 (3:01)

Wow.

SPEAKER_4 (3:02)

Yeah.

George Kamel (3:03)

How old are you guys?

SPEAKER_9 (3:07)

Wow.

Jade Warshaw (3:07)

I'm sorry this is happening. This is devastating. I mean, I can't imagine waking up in your shoes, so just the fact that you're trying to keep it together, good on you. How old are the boys?

SPEAKER_4 (3:18)

They are 10 and six.

Jade Warshaw (3:20)

I'm so sorry. Do they know about this?

SPEAKER_4 (3:24)

They don't know the details. They just know mom and dad are going through some things and dad moved out. But we're trying to keep it as civil as possible. I think I have all the reason to be the crazy one, but that's just going to make things worse.

Jade Warshaw (3:42)

That can help. I think my first order of business would be, like I said, I find an attorney, I'd ask in my circle of friends, and who do we know? Who did Jeff use for his divorce?

Ask in your circle of friends and find somebody recommended an attorney that you can speak with, and then the next thing is, I'd be looking for a counselor, and I'd be speaking with a counselor, and I'd also ask, what do you think about the kids? What's the best way for me to approach this with the children? Just to make sure everything's being handled with as much, I think you're probably doing a fantastic job, but just to make sure everything's being handled with the most intentionality that we can muster up, and then from there, it's about letting the, you know, your attorney kind of guide these proceedings and guide, okay, how do we bring up divorce? What's the best? Because I think that if you, and it's not to say that anything has to get muddy or ugly, but I think if you're going to try, because I see on my screen, you're asking how do I sell my house?