The Pollsters Are Lying to You, Republicans!

SPEAKER_1 (0:10)

From Memphis, Tennessee, on the banks of the mighty Mississippi, it's America's conservative blowtorch.

Todd Starnes (0:28)

Well, hello everybody. Welcome to the Todd Starnes Radio Extravaganza. You know, the interesting thing about this show, you never know what's gonna happen. You really don't. And that's part of the joy of doing the Todd Starnes Radio program. We just have a lot of fun. We love hearing from our listeners. And yesterday, I don't know what you guys were putting in the sweet tea. But the callers yesterday, you guys reached an all-time high. You raised the bar of callers on the Todd Starnes Radio show. From the guy who called in about the government teat to the, what, the adedictomy diagnosis. Well done. Well done and well played. We have some of the, dare I say, wittiest, well, no, yes, of course, Dylan, of course, you're the most attractive. We have the best-looking conservative women listening to this radio program in America.

I'll say the world. Wow.

They're beautiful. And the guys, yeah, you're not, you guys aren't too bad at it.

SPEAKER_4 (1:38)

You can't just leave them behind.

Todd Starnes (1:40)

Yeller, you're better than average. But I'm just saying conservative, and by and large, conservative women are just drop-dead gorgeous anyway. But the ones that listen to this program, off the charts. We should have a calendar. We should do a calendar. Babes of the Todd Starnes Show.

Am I digging a hole here that I can't get out of?

Dylan (1:59)

You might already, yeah. It's too early for you to be doing this.

Todd Starnes (2:01)

We should take auditions. We should have auditions.

Dylan (2:05)

Double down on it.

Todd Starnes (2:06)

Yes. Later this week, those of you wanting to be Miss February.

Wow. Well, I guarantee you, we would get some, you know, hold on, let's just put a pin in this. I know we've got a lot of, we've got to save the Republic, all right? But let's talk about this for a moment. I mean, when you think about the average Democrat gal, if you, if I were to tell you, oh, this is Marge, and she's a Democrat, what would you immediately think, Dylan?

Dylan (2:37)

I don't know what I would think.

Todd Starnes (2:39)

You don't want to say.

Dylan (2:41)

I don't want to say it on the radio.

Todd Starnes (2:42)

You know what, I put you, well, I will, because that's what we do for a living. If I were to tell you, oh, I have a friend named Marge, and no, really, I don't have Democrat friends. If I have a neighbor named Marge, and Marge is a Democrat, you think a couple of things. First of all, there's a coexist bumper sticker on the back of the V-hicker.

She is, dare I say, she knows her way around the All You Can Eat buffet.

She's wearing the Birkenstocks. She's got magenta hair. There are multiple body piercings, including, and this is pretty much a guarantee, she's got a nose ring. And she screams like a banshee. I mean, that's immediately, so if you're thinking, I mean, if I'm telling you, oh, I've got a liberal that I know, and her name is Marge, that's what you would think of. Now, on the other side of the equation, if I were to tell you, oh, I have a, oh, what's it, you know, we'll say Kristen. I have a conservative friend named Kristen. I have a number of friends named Kristen who are conservatives. Dylan, what would you immediately think of?

Dylan (3:56)

Wonderful, you know, hygiene, you know, the hair's nice. Oh, that's it.

Todd Starnes (4:01)

And so let me, Marge also smells. You can smell her before you see her.

Dylan (4:05)

You forgot that part. I wanted to add it.

Todd Starnes (4:07)

Body odor. Yeah, body odor.

Dylan (4:09)

Knows their way around deodorant pretty well. Yeah.

Todd Starnes (4:15)

Well, we're not building a whole, we're digging a trench, an entire trench.

Dylan (4:19)

You're making me do this.

Todd Starnes (4:20)

Yeah, but you would think, I mean, when you think of a conservative woman, you think of maybe a happy homemaker or a successful businesswoman who is very well put together and can, she goes to the gym, she takes care of herself, she knows how to cook, she knows how to shoot a gun, and she could be a beauty queen. And many of them are, by the way. I just described Miss Mississippi, and I've never even met Miss Mississippi. This is why Southern women mostly, by and large, win the beauty pageants across America.

So, I'm just telling you. That's what we're talking about. Oh, yes. So, we have good looking, and we have a good looking audience. So, all that to say, I mean, yeah, I mean, I guess we could put together like a conservative women of the Todd Starnes show, like calendar. I think it would sell like hotcakes.