The Most Delusional Man In Comedy

Tom Segura (0:30)

This is hysterical.

Bert Kreischer (0:31)

I love it.

Tom Segura (0:32)

And I was like, I think we said I'm doing a movie on the last one.

Okay. Yeah, I'm still doing the movie.

Bert Kreischer (0:38)

People, actually, I was in the comments. I wasn't in the comments. I have someone read the comments. I just, just the positive ones. And they were like, Tom's, I like Tom's facial hair. It looks good. I like bold choices.

Tom Segura (0:51)

It's jet black in the movie, too.

Bert Kreischer (0:53)

I saw the picture John Stamos sent out. He said, he said, I'm just putting this out there, and we'll change subjects immediately.

Tom Segura (1:00)

Okay.

Bert Kreischer (1:01)

Giving off hangover vibes.

Tom Segura (1:05)

Is that what he said?

Bert Kreischer (1:05)

That's what he said.

Tom Segura (1:07)

It's a fun movie, dude.

Bert Kreischer (1:08)

Yeah.

Tom Segura (1:08)

It's really fun. John's great.

Bert Kreischer (1:09)

Don't talk about it ever again. We'll never talk about it again.

Tom Segura (1:11)

We'll talk about it when it comes out.

Bert Kreischer (1:12)

We'll talk about it when it comes out.

Tom Segura (1:13)

Okay.

Bert Kreischer (1:14)

Don't want to spoil it.

Tom Segura (1:16)

Where are you right now?

Bert Kreischer (1:17)

I am in Cleveland, Ohio.

Rocket Center Mortgage Arena. Rocket Center Mortgage Arena. You know what I am.

Tom Segura (1:25)

Yeah. Those names are so inspiring, man, that the arenas go with now.

Bert Kreischer (1:30)

It's crazy.

Tom Segura (1:31)

It used to be like Leia Coca, Soldier Field. Now it's like FedEx Field. And you're like, Jesus Christ.

Bert Kreischer (1:40)

I liked, I liked like Three River Stadium, you know?

Tom Segura (1:43)

Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (1:44)

The big sombrero in Tampa.

Tom Segura (1:47)

How long are you back on tour?

Bert Kreischer (1:49)

I'm on tour for the next, I'm gone for a straight month. And then I stay out most of November, most of December. And then I got a crazy tour. I'm announcing, I don't know when I'm going to do it, but I have a crazy tour idea that I'm doing. And you told me about it. Yeah, yeah. That is going to be fucking insane. And then, and then I'm going to shoot a movie and then go back out on tour and get ready to shoot the special.

Hey, you just announced a tour. Congratulations.

Tom Segura (2:15)

I did. I announced a tour.

Bert Kreischer (2:16)

Platypus? What's it called?

Tom Segura (2:18)

Preposterous.

Bert Kreischer (2:19)

Preposterous. I'm sorry. I didn't have my readers on.

Tom Segura (2:22)

I did. It's the same thing, by the way. This is nothing new. Every time you announce the leg of a tour, people are like, how come you're not coming to this city? And you're like, I am. Yeah. Just not yet. So I'm sure you're in the middle of that right now.

Bert Kreischer (2:37)

I wonder when this lighting is going to change because I'm sure everyone's getting a stroke having fucking epilepsy in the back.

Tom Segura (2:44)

That is crazy.

Bert Kreischer (2:45)

Hey, Kyle, can you get them to fix the lighting so it's not fucking thunderstorms?

Tom Segura (2:50)

It looks nuts.

Bert Kreischer (2:51)

It looks insane. So wait, what were you going to say about your tour?

Tom Segura (2:54)

No, no, just that the first leg is up. So right now I've announced January through May, and then sometime in the spring, I'll announce the second leg and so on and so forth. So it'll go on for a couple of years as they always do. Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (3:06)

They go on forever. Do you remember when we were kids and you never didn't have a tour?

Tom Segura (3:10)

Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (3:11)

I miss it a little bit.

Tom Segura (3:14)

Yeah. How long are you going to keep doing this, man?

Bert Kreischer (3:17)

I'm having weird depression with touring because it's changed. It's changed so much and I'm not saying it's a job, but man, my first theater tour, I was so excited. My first arena tour, I was so excited. Now I'm still excited for the material and stuff, but I miss the newness of it.

Tom Segura (3:42)

Yeah. Well, you've been doing it a long time, dude.

Bert Kreischer (3:44)

Yeah.

Tom Segura (3:45)

You were doing it a long time. How many shows are you doing a week right now?

Bert Kreischer (3:49)

I'm doing Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then I fly to Dallas Monday. I fly to London on another Monday. I'm doing the New York Food & Wine Festival.