The End Is Here w/ Ari Shaffir

Bert Kreischer (0:00)

This is the best vodka in the world. You're talking to a man who's put 10,000 hours into a couple things, eating pussy and drinking vodka. I'll bring my wife in if you want. I'm pretty good at the first one too. But this is better than pussy. This is the best vodka you're ever gonna have. It's clean.

My sleep scores through the roof because of it. It tastes clean. Everyone I've given it to loves this vodka. Tom, tell them.

Tom Segura (0:19)

It's absolutely fantastic. We have a proprietary distillation process. And listen, we are winning competitions. We have gold medals in various competitions. And honestly, you, the people, are the ones telling us how great it is, too. This is not just smoke that we're blowing here. We're telling you because you're telling us this is now your favorite vodka. So thank you. And if you haven't tried Por Osos, get out to the store.

If they don't carry it, tell them you want them to carry it.

Bert Kreischer (0:45)

Tell them, request it. When you go to the bar, you say, hey, do you carry Por Osos? And if they say no, you go, you should. It's pretty freaking awesome.

Tom Segura (0:52)

And then walk out.

Bert Kreischer (0:54)

You know what I do?

I go, do you carry Por Osos? And they say, no, I bring out a bottle and give it to them. And now you do. Can I get a bottle of glass of Por Osos?

Tom Segura (1:00)

That's awesome. That's awesome.

Bert Kreischer (1:01)

100%.

Tom Segura (1:06)

Welcome to another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave. We're here in Austin, Texas. And joining us is somebody who wants to erase the people of Palestine. Give it up for Ari Shafir, everybody.

Ari Shaffir (1:18)

Thank you. It's not, please, I think it's already accomplished.

Let's, let's, let's, let's say Stephen King wants to write a book.

Tom Segura (1:31)

Let's say this real quick, because we want to, there's a lot to cover today. But your storytelling show that was once famously on a network that once thrived.

Bert Kreischer (1:43)

Isn't that crazy that Comedy Central has just gone?

Tom Segura (1:45)

It's so crazy.

Ari Shaffir (1:46)

It's crazy. Two things. One, nobody knows Comedy Central. Two, nobody knows what a network is.

Tom Segura (1:50)

I know.

But what do you think of somebody when they're like, do you see that new ABC show? And you're like, what? What fucking brain damage is that?

Ari Shaffir (1:57)

The name of the show, you idiot.

Bert Kreischer (1:59)

We have colleagues that will be like, I just booked a pilot. And you're like, oh, unbook it.

Tom Segura (2:03)

Really, on CBS? So you brought it back. It's called The End.

Ari Shaffir (2:09)

We brought it back.

Tom Segura (2:09)

That we did.

It's called The End. We here at YMH produced it. And I have to say, I've said this before, but the lineup that you were able to procure for this is...

Ari Shaffir (2:22)

It's pretty crazy.

Tom Segura (2:23)

It's pretty crazy, dude. It's pretty crazy. You got Nate Bargazzi, you got DeStefano Gillis, Jordan Jensen. It's a long list.

Jay Okerson, Ali Siddique, Miss Pat, on and on and on. And now it's out. It's out.

Ari Shaffir (2:38)

It's out now. It's 420, guys. Just wait if you've saved an episode. Today's the day to watch.

Tom Segura (2:41)

An important detail that is very Ari Shaffir driven. You can buy individual episodes. You can buy the whole season, but every comedian participates in the back end.

Ari Shaffir (2:52)

Oh yeah, they're all getting paid. Everybody gets paid.

Bert Kreischer (2:55)

You're the first person to pay us on, when you do a podcast, you'd be like, oh, here's like 200 bucks.

Tom Segura (3:00)

And it's crazy.

Bert Kreischer (3:00)

For your ad reads.

Tom Segura (3:01)

Your people's reputation.

Bert Kreischer (3:02)

It's not notoriously your thing.

Ari Shaffir (3:04)

It's an uphill battle. It is.

Tom Segura (3:06)

I always thought you'd be like, you were on my show, give me a dollar, but you actually share.

Ari Shaffir (3:11)

I don't know if you realize how offensive that impression of me is because I have a deep voice.

Tom Segura (3:18)

So. But it is.

I'll say this, man. It came out fantastic.

Ari Shaffir (3:24)

It came out so good.

Tom Segura (3:25)

It's the concept that you came up with that was always so fun to do live.

Ari Shaffir (3:29)

Yeah, you guys all did them.

Tom Segura (3:30)

We all did the YouTube version.

Ari Shaffir (3:32)