The Best Return Isn’t Always Money

SPEAKER_1 (0:01)

A Medicare plan that worked last year might cost you more next year. Let Chapter check your options for free. askchapter.org/ramsey.

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

George Kamel (0:26)

Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the FAIRWINDS Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Kamel, joined by Dr. John Delony, and we're taking your calls for the next couple of hours. You can call this number, 888-825-5225.

You jump into the conversation. David is in Indianapolis to kick us off. What's going on, David? How can we help?

SPEAKER_3 (0:53)

First off, big fans, John Delony, I've listened to so much of your stuff.

SPEAKER_4 (0:57)

George, love your YouTube channel.

SPEAKER_3 (0:58)

It's great. Thank you. So yeah, so I have an interesting situation. So me and my wife, following the baby steps, paid off approximately $60,000 in the past, you know, seven months or so. Wow. Well, I guess, I'm sorry, really the last two years, if you include everything.

And it's been great.

SPEAKER_4 (1:19)

On the flip side, my brother has not done that.

SPEAKER_3 (1:23)

And they got themselves into some financial trouble.

SPEAKER_4 (1:27)

And my parents have ended up giving them $80,000.

SPEAKER_3 (1:32)

And so it kind of feels like every time they get in trouble, they are using my parents to try to get out of it.

SPEAKER_4 (1:39)

And my parents keep letting them do this.

SPEAKER_3 (1:42)

And meanwhile, it feels like we're being punished because we're over here doing our own thing, paying off our debt and do it the right way.

George Kamel (1:50)

Can I rephrase this and you tell me if I'm right?

SPEAKER_3 (1:53)

Okay, go ahead.

George Kamel (1:54)

Your brother is the prodigal son and dad threw him a party and said, here's a big old check, but even though you've been misbehaving and you're out here doing your homework and eating your vegetables, getting jack squat and there's a little bit of resentment bubbling up.

SPEAKER_3 (2:08)

That's exactly right.

SPEAKER_7 (2:09)

That's very similar.

Dr. John Delony (2:11)

How are you being punished?

SPEAKER_3 (2:14)

Well, I guess at the end of the day, it feels like we aren't receiving the same kind of treatment that-

Dr. John Delony (2:23)

You're 100% not. No question.

No question about it. You're not getting $80,000 checks in the mail. No question. But how are you being punished?

SPEAKER_3 (2:38)

I guess we wouldn't- Just call it a punishment is not right. It would just be unequal treatment.

Dr. John Delony (2:45)

So let me take one step deeper. How are you a victim here? Because here's what I'm hearing. I'm hearing a man who looked himself in the mirror, got on board, him and his wife got together, and you all conquered a really seemingly impossible thing together for two years. You've changed the life of you and your wife. You've changed the life of any kids that will come along the way.

Yeah. Like, how are you being wronged here?

SPEAKER_3 (3:10)

You're right, and we're stoked about that. And I think in that perspective, we don't feel wronged, but we feel some resentment towards my brother for continuing to take advantage of my parents.

Dr. John Delony (3:27)

It's not your brother. Your brother's gonna brother. He's doing his thing. You're mad at your mom and your dad.

SPEAKER_3 (3:32)

Yeah.

Dr. John Delony (3:33)

Direct that where it goes. You've been mad at your brother for years. This isn't new. You're upset that your parents are contributing to him not making wise financial choices. But here's the problem. They didn't call and ask you. And so you projecting yourself into their heart and mind, into their money, into their decisions, it sounds crazy. It's a choice that you're making on a minute by minute basis to be miserable in your own skin.

And dude, listen, I completely understand the frustration.

You're not out to lunch. Your frustration is right. I get it. And I'm not going to let that into my home. Because the home that me and my wife are building is full of laughter, and warmth, and freedom, and joy, and all the making out we want to do. We've created this thing, right? Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_4 (4:23)

Making out, 100%.

Dr. John Delony (4:26)

I'm not going to let something...

It's going to stop at the door like a vampire. I'm not going to welcome it in. And have you sat down with your folks?

SPEAKER_4 (4:37)

I've had many conversations with them.

Dr. John Delony (4:39)