The Bears Go Up In Smoke

Tom Segura (0:05)

And we're back. It's another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave. We're here in Austin, Texas with my buddy Bert. And this is our week, man. This is our week. This is Netflix is a Joke Week. We are going to be in Los Angeles this week. There's a bunch of shit going on, but most importantly, the 5k, the 2 Bears 5k. If you have not yet registered, go to 2bears5k.com. It'll be May 9th in Pasadena at the Rose Bowl. It is one big party. What I'm saying is we are not elite runners and a lot of people who show up, show up just to walk, to feel like they're part of a community. Some people jog, some people run walk, some people fucking sprint. You can participate in any which way you want to, but know that we have recovery centers, we have entertainment, we have food, we have porosos.

Bert Kreischer (0:52)

We've decked this place out. We will have everything, cold plunges, saunas.

Tom Segura (0:56)

It's year three. We have it dialed in, dude.

Bert Kreischer (0:58)

This is the best 5k out there without a doubt. And it's a blast. And like I said, let us be your first 5k. We are great entry level 5k.

Tom Segura (1:09)

It's so fun. It really is so fun. A lot of comedians will be there. A lot of your favorites will show up.

There's going to be actors and singers. All types of celebs will be there, but it's really about just the community atmosphere. And it really is so much fun. I never thought that this would be something that would happen in my life, and I've done ours, obviously. This will be the third in a row. I've done other ones. There's nothing like this thing. There really is nothing like it.

Bert Kreischer (1:34)

I'm so glad. We've had a bunch of stupid ideas, and I'm so glad this one stuck around.

Tom Segura (1:39)

This is a great idea.

Bert Kreischer (1:42)

This is probably the best idea we've ever had, because it's a small amount of work on our part.

Tom Segura (1:46)

Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (1:46)

Our teams take care of it. They plan everything. And we just run. I'm going to be fucking flying this year.

Tom Segura (1:54)

Yeah, you are. I know. I mean, probably from last year, you're probably doing like 40 pounds or something, right?

Bert Kreischer (1:59)

Oh, I couldn't even tell you. I don't know. I've never... It's so funny when you start to get healthy, certain things like...

There's this guy that's got this Instagram account, and he's like... I wish I could give him a shout out, but he's like, things fat guys do. And all he does is things fat guys do, like sits down on the couch and then puts a pillow over his stomach. And I go, I do that all the time. Or like just tugging his shirt, like having like...

Tom Segura (2:25)

The pull, the pull away.

Bert Kreischer (2:28)

And I could tell you things unhealthy guys do, like unhealthy guys will never let you take their blood pressure.

Tom Segura (2:37)

I've never heard somebody so aggressive towards somebody than when I've been with you, and somebody's like, to get an IV, it's usually a standard thing where they go, just take your blood, and you'll go, don't do that shit! And I'm like, holy shit.

Bert Kreischer (2:52)

I said something about that on stage the other night, is like, if you're with a guy who doesn't like his blood, his blood pressure getting tight, he's the, who needs to get his blood pressure taken.

Tom Segura (2:59)

Of course.

Bert Kreischer (3:00)

And I've seen you get aggressive. I take my blood pressure every fucking day now, and I take a picture of it, and I send it to my cardiologist. 111 over 72 this morning.

Tom Segura (3:09)

I don't know anything about blood pressure.

Bert Kreischer (3:11)

I do.

Tom Segura (3:12)

Is that good?

Bert Kreischer (3:13)

Oh, it's perfect.

Tom Segura (3:14)

It's perfect? What was it, what was it when it was bad?

Bert Kreischer (3:18)

When I was in the hospital with the blood clot, it was 170 over 110, which is like...

Tom Segura (3:26)

That's not good.

Bert Kreischer (3:26)

It's not good. And it was so bad, they turned the thing so I couldn't see it.

Tom Segura (3:31)

Really? Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (3:34)

And the guy said to me, I told you this, but the guy said to me when I was in the CAT scan, he's like, are you having a heart attack? Because it was, the blood pressure was just sky. And now what happens when you get injured, when you're in pain or injured, your blood pressure raises. So I had a blood clot and you know what's crazy? I mean, I'm obsessed with my whoop.