Take Angela Paxton's Husband, Please!

Jon Lovett (0:00)

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SPEAKER_2 (1:24)

What's up Los Angeles?

SPEAKER_3 (1:27)

Welcome to Lovett or Leave It live from Hollywood.

Jon Lovett (1:30)

I'm Jon Lovett. We've got a great show for you tonight, but first let's get into it. What a week.

I'm Jon Lovett. Trump kicked things off this week by suggesting that Iran could go ahead and take out LA and San Diego for all he cares.

SPEAKER_3 (1:45)

It's a small price to pay for keeping the world safe, keeping our country safe. They could take out a city.

Let them take out Los Angeles. Let them take out San Diego. This is a small price to pay.

Jon Lovett (2:00)

We're trying, said an exasperated Iran on hour seven at the LAX horseshoe.

Experts fear Iran could launch a bomb as big as Alexander Ineritu's Digger. I feel bad about that joke. I want to see Digger. I want to see the movie. I really am excited about it. Speaking of disappointing launches, FBI director Cash Patel got engaged to country singer Alexis Wilkins this weekend. Nice to see Cash in a serious long-term relationship, as opposed to his usual puppy love. Tweeted Wilkins, along with a photo of the two, went and got the law involved, replied Patel, You called the cops. That dog is a liar. A New York Times Yenna poll this week showed Democrats either tied or ahead in five reliably Republican states, with Democratic Senate candidates leading in Texas and Alaska. I just need to say this on tape in case Democrats get trounced. Producer Bill, bring me today's newspaper.

I don't believe those polls for a second. We got it? Great. That's done. Guys, I'm pretty excited about these polls. Michigan Senate candidate Abdullah El-Sayed also announced that Barack Obama would be joining him on the campaign trail in Detroit, which is a big vote of confidence because Obama doesn't like to be seen with losers. At least that's what he said when the RSVP noted my wedding. Meanwhile, over in Ohio, GOP gubernatorial nominee Vivek Ramaswamy tried to pick up a large child and nearly dropped him.

Here's what I know about kids. If you're going to pick up a kid, you got to be 1000 percent sure you can lift that kid. You should never be hitting a personal best with a stranger's child. And not to defend Vivek, but that boy was not giving him any help, just a limp sack of potatoes. Exactly as we discussed, said Antifa's Midwestern commander, depositing $10,000 into the boy's Roblox account. Here's President Trump on Saturday also campaigning in Ohio.

SPEAKER_3 (4:13)

Just get out and vote. If you do that, we're going to win, and we're going to win big. And we're going to shove it up their ass, okay?

Jon Lovett (4:21)

Which, as we all know, feels bad, shouted Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson. The leader of the free world continued.

SPEAKER_3 (4:30)

You know, when I see that telefreak-o in Texas, so he's been a vegan all his life. He's campaigned on, he's a vegan, vegan, vegan. I didn't even know what the hell a vegan was. A vegan is vegetables. A vegan is eating a piece of lettuce all day long.

Jon Lovett (4:45)

You laugh at Trump not knowing how to say vegan, but I know that when he mispronounces words, it's just a sign of how much of his vocabulary is born of a lifetime love of reading. Anyway, Telerico will feel right at home in the Senate where there are plenty of vegetables like Mitch McConnell.