Stop Giving Away Your Control

**SPEAKER_1** (0:05)
Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

**George Kamel** (0:15)
Normal is broke, and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the FAIRWINDS Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Kamel, joined by Jade Warshaw, and we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. Gary is in Huntsville, Alabama. What's going on, Gary? How can we help?

**SPEAKER_3** (0:36)
Yes, my father-in-law, who is 85 and in a nursing home, wants to take 10 family members to the Holy Land and pay $50,000 for that trip.
I am nervous that he is going to spend down his nest egg and may need Medicaid in the future. So that is my dilemma.

**Jade Warshaw** (1:00)
What's the entirety of his nest egg, do you know?

**SPEAKER_3** (1:03)
I have heard he has $200,000 and he's using Social Security and the RMDs for his current monthly payments to the nursing home.

**Jade Warshaw** (1:14)
Who told you that?

**SPEAKER_3** (1:18)
My brother-in-law, his son.

**Jade Warshaw** (1:21)
Okay.

**George Kamel** (1:23)
Is he using the nest egg at all right now? Are you saying he's just using Social Security plus RMDs from an investment account elsewhere? Or is it this 200 grand, that's it?

**SPEAKER_3** (1:31)
It's all that 200 grand.

**George Kamel** (1:33)
That's everything he has to his name and he wants to blow a fourth of that on this trip.

**Jade Warshaw** (1:36)
Why does that concern you? Are you afraid that you'll be on the hook? Like, tell us more about how you're involved.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:42)
Well, I'm a family, I'm one of those 10 family members. I'm a family of four, so that is $20,000 of this money. And I don't want to burn his money.
I don't want to be responsible for burning his money and getting him into Medicaid if he has a stroke or a mental decline.

**Jade Warshaw** (2:05)
Uh, let me ask this. Is he in his right mind? Is he well mentally still? Is he still with it?

**SPEAKER_3** (2:13)
Yes, he is declining. He is having some thinking issues and some, uh, memory issues. So that also, I mean, it's in the kindness of his heart he wants to do this. I'm just not comfortable spending, for me, $20,000 of that money for my family.

**Jade Warshaw** (2:31)
Don't go.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:33)
What happens if you don't go?

**SPEAKER_3** (2:35)
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I was asked, quite frankly, big dates. And I was like, I'm kind of being a wet blanket on this thing.

**Jade Warshaw** (2:46)
So I don't think you're being a wet blanket. I think that you're an adult and you have the ability to look, look out at something and say, this makes me feel comfortable or this doesn't make me feel comfortable. And I think because other family members are involved, that might not agree with you or maybe don't, maybe they don't have the same knowledge base that you have about his money.
I think it's okay for you to say, and you could even say to him, here's the, I got some information, I don't know that it's accurate and I'm not trying to overstep, but this is what I was told, that you have $200,000 and I just don't feel comfortable with you spending 20 of it on my family. I think what you're doing is generous, but I just don't feel comfortable, thank you, but no thank you. And then he might come back and say, actually, that's not true. I have more money or whatever, but I think you have the ability to say that. And it's not being a wet blanket, it's just you choosing as an adult.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:39)
Okay, yeah, thank you.
I was heading in that direction. I don't want to see him on Medicaid, basically being a burden on society when I'm taking the money to go on a nice trip.

**Jade Warshaw** (3:51)
Now, the Medicaid, I don't think that's really what's going to happen here.

**George Kamel** (3:55)
You're saying if he runs out of money and then can't pay for the current nursing home, then he switches over to Medicare because he's basically impoverished.

**SPEAKER_3** (4:03)
Yes, Medicaid and there's a five year look back.

**Jade Warshaw** (4:07)
Yeah, exactly.

**SPEAKER_3** (4:08)
So, if he burns through this money, there can be a five year look back and he may not have been able to get it, which would put him on the street.

**George Kamel** (4:14)
Now there's a gap and you guys are going to have to cover it. And that's your true fear, Gary, is that the financial burden is going to be on you guys, the siblings, to have to fund the rest of his life. And let's say he goes to 90, that's still five years, right?