Stavvy Called Us Out

Tom Segura (0:05)

Yeah, welcome to 2 Bears, 1 Cave, and Bert, of course, is sitting there with his award.

Bert Kreischer (0:11)

Thank you. Thank you. And I'd like to thank Guinness Book of World Records.

Tom Segura (0:14)

That's a big theme amongst comedians lately.

Bert Kreischer (0:17)

Well, it's the only way to get recognized. It's me, Nate, Shane, are all now record holders. I'm wondering what your record's gonna be.

Tom Segura (0:25)

I would love to have one. I don't know if it's possible, but what's yours for? Oh, well, maybe we should say what theirs were for first.

Bert Kreischer (0:33)

Well, theirs are, I think Shane got two awards.

Tom Segura (0:37)

Okay.

Bert Kreischer (0:38)

I don't know what Shane's two awards. Type in Shane Gillis, Guinness Book of World Records.

Tom Segura (0:43)

Well, one was for selling out the Lincoln Financial.

Bert Kreischer (0:46)

Like the most white people ever sold to attending a show. The most white people gathered in one space that didn't storm a Capitol.

Tom Segura (0:56)

That's exciting.

Bert Kreischer (0:58)

It is, it is, he's, Shane's one that said they're all white. He said it on, on Fallon.

Tom Segura (1:02)

Yeah, but yeah, look at that.

Bert Kreischer (1:06)

What did he, what did he get it for?

Tom Segura (1:08)

He had most tickets sold and most and largest attendance. Because there's tickets sold and then people who show up. Yeah. Oh wow.

Bert Kreischer (1:17)

That's I got first of all, that is, it's incredible. So impressive. And I, I don't, I haven't texted with Shane about it, but that is overwhelming. And I don't think we'll ever live to see that record broken. I mean, it's, it's such amazing.

77,000 tickets is sold. Is insane.

Tom Segura (1:41)

Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (1:42)

By the way, I'm more impressed that only 4,000 people didn't show up.

Tom Segura (1:46)

Pretty crazy.

Bert Kreischer (1:47)

That's 73,000 is a crazy number.

Tom Segura (1:50)

It's really crazy.

Bert Kreischer (1:51)

And so, and, and then, and then what's more, Nate Bargatze.

Tom Segura (1:57)

His is for his tour, I believe.

Bert Kreischer (1:59)

Yeah. So his number is astounding too. I think it was 2 million white people.

Tom Segura (2:04)

Yes. Yes.

2 million clean white people.

Bert Kreischer (2:10)

Yeah.

Tom Segura (2:12)

2 million, 1.9.

Bert Kreischer (2:14)

Let's be very clear. It's not 2 million.

Tom Segura (2:16)

What do you mean?

Bert Kreischer (2:16)

1.9.

Tom Segura (2:18)

It says 2 million, 45,000 over the course of 16 months.

Bert Kreischer (2:22)

Okay. Okay.

Tom Segura (2:23)

He beat.

Bert Kreischer (2:23)

Oh, he beat Jeff Dunham who was 1.9.

Tom Segura (2:27)

Over 35 months.

Bert Kreischer (2:29)

Wow. Hold on. Wait, I should just extend mine. I bet over 25 years I can beat that.

Tom Segura (2:36)

You definitely could. That's a really good way to approach it, man.

Bert Kreischer (2:40)

Yeah. I mean, if we're just going to extend the months, 197 months, Bert Kreischer comes close in third place.

Tom Segura (2:47)

There you go, man.

Bert Kreischer (2:48)

It's crazy because Guinness just floats around these shows. Like they just sit back.

Tom Segura (2:53)

Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (2:53)

You never know when Guinness is going to show up. Like that's the thing about Guinness. You're jumping rope and all of a sudden you see someone with a counter and a suit standing by you and you're like, shit, I'm about to be in the, in the fucking record book.

Tom Segura (3:04)

It's so exciting.

Bert Kreischer (3:05)

And then they came to your house today and they showed up because, and I got, and I'm really proud and I want to thank Guinness. This recognizes The Machine as one of the most performed standup stories in comedy history and possibly the most performed and possibly it's as possibly.

And possibly a lot of world records say possibly. Yeah, possibly the most performed signature story by a major touring comedian. It has been performed over 1600 over 16, just casually 1600 in venues from April 5th, 2011 through August 20th, 2026 and has been heard live in front of probably over 2 million people.

Tom Segura (3:59)

Wow, man. Guinness has a way with language.

Congratulations, dude.

Bert Kreischer (4:04)

We're all proud of you. That's very, very cool. I'm really excited. I was just, I beat out Gallagher. I beat out Jeff Dunham with the Olly.

Tom Segura (4:14)

The crazy thing is that they'll probably take away probably in 10 years when you continue to do it, you know? The language will change.

That's really, really cool, man.