🌴 SPRING BREAK | Scream Résumé

Nick (0:06)

I saw this one doing the rounds yesterday, guys. I like nothing more than News Anchor fails. Especially when there's three people on this news desk. This is the team on Fox 2's Good Day Detroit.

Cliff (0:18)

It's always American, isn't it?

Nick (0:19)

Always American. Two guys and one lady, and they're talking about the show alone.

This one's specifically in the Arctic, I believe, and they're talking about what food to catch, etc.

Luttsy (0:29)

That's the Australian one.

Nick (0:31)

Right. Okay. They're talking about that. They're talking about the food.

Luttsy (0:33)

That's the current one now.

Nick (0:34)

Okay. Now, she then talks about a specific animal for the food, and has no idea what she's saying. So here's the first bit of audio.

SPEAKER_5 (0:43)

If you can provide yourself with food, and again, now they're ice fishing because everything is frozen, and you're looking for fat in the beaver. Yeah. The beaver is the most sought after. It is.

Do you think you could eat beaver? It's fat, and then it's meat.

SPEAKER_6 (1:10)

It made them all sick, though.

SPEAKER_5 (1:12)

They all got sick after it. Well, you can't eat diseased animals.

Nick (1:19)

So, she has no idea, right? And then she doubles down.

Luttsy (1:23)

Does that mean the same thing in America, though?

SPEAKER_6 (1:25)

Of course it does. The naked gun, nice beaver, just had it stuffed. The naked gun, beaver is very much an American term.

Nick (1:32)

She doubles down.

SPEAKER_5 (1:34)

What about a moose?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know anything about this show, but you're really funny. You are a really funny gal. We want to hear from you. Ryan can't even laugh through the cyclops.

Nick (1:49)

It just keeps going.

Luttsy (1:52)

That's funny.

SPEAKER_5 (1:53)

That's so funny.

Luttsy (1:55)

That reminds me of one that went around a couple of weeks ago now. And it was a lady, she was selling wigs on a... Is it American as well?

SPEAKER_6 (2:02)

I saw this yesterday.

Luttsy (2:03)

I saw this yesterday. I don't know how much to explain.

Cliff (2:06)

I don't know how you can explain this. I didn't see this.

Luttsy (2:08)

I'm going to read it. So US TV shopping presenters gone viral, and she was selling wigs on the TV. She's been selling them for 30 years on this station.

Cliff (2:16)

It's early, we can do it.

Luttsy (2:18)

I won't say what she was trying to say, but she was talking about it.

SPEAKER_6 (2:21)

What she was trying to say is the least of the problems. You're too far in, just go for it.

Cliff (2:26)

I love to show the texture and this wave pattern. Again, it looks like you went and got a blow job after a blowout at your salon.

And it looks beautiful.

SPEAKER_6 (2:44)

At least she knows. She's got her face away from the camera because she's showing the back of her blow-waved hair. So then she just starts shaking her laughter, and the other poor host has to roll on. He's facing the camera.

Brilliant. It works.

Luttsy (3:01)

It actually works. I love me a good Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Nick (3:12)

Dyson's are the best.

Luttsy (3:13)

Have you seen how they got a Dyson toothbrush?

SPEAKER_6 (3:15)

Are they the best?

Nick (3:16)

Yeah, they're very good Dyson's.

Luttsy (3:16)

Vacuums?

Cliff (3:17)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_6 (3:17)

I mean, I know they're very good.

Luttsy (3:18)

The stick ones?

SPEAKER_6 (3:20)

Are they a sponsor or what are we doing here?

Cliff (3:21)

No.

SPEAKER_6 (3:22)

No, I just mean, could you see rip offs now? Are they as good as Dyson's?

Cliff (3:25)

Oh, yeah.

Luttsy (3:26)

I couldn't tell you.

Nick (3:26)

I haven't had a rip off one. Dyson's are expensive. There's no doubt about it.

Luttsy (3:30)

I was segueing to the Dyson $800 toothbrush. Have you seen that?

SPEAKER_6 (3:35)

Well, I've not seen that. Come on, talk me through it.

Luttsy (3:37)

Okay. It's got a tiny camera inside the toothbrush that identifies the gaps between your teeth as you brush it. And when it spots a gap, it identifies a tiny targeted jet of not just water, of mouthwash.

SPEAKER_6 (3:49)

Come on.

Luttsy (3:50)

Between your teeth.

Nick (3:51)

So it flosses for you?

Luttsy (3:52)

It flosses for you.

Nick (3:53)

I would pay for that. I never floss and I need to.

Luttsy (3:55)

It brushes, flosses and mouthwash all in one job.

SPEAKER_6 (3:58)

What, you got to fill the thing up with mouthwash every week?

Luttsy (4:01)

It's got to work. Well, I don't know about that, but it connects to your My Dyson app.