South Africa Sessions: The Greatest Snake Oil Salesman ft. Sizwe Dhlomo

Trevor Noah (0:02)

Elon Musk Because here's the thing about Elon Musk. Elon Musk is equal parts talent, vision and bamboozlement, which might be the perfect combination in life.

Sizwe Dhlomo (0:12)

Yeah.

Eugene (0:13)

R2-D2 will roast you with those sounds, bro. Doesn't even talk, brrrr, brrrr.

SPEAKER_4 (0:17)

You're like, ah, how can you say that about my mom, R2-D2?

Trevor Noah (0:20)

You just had literally Nigerians being like, oh, South Africa, you can't go, you can't, I don't want to, yeah, we're going to find you where you are performing, we're going to find you where you are doing. And I was like, but my brother, you're doing the exact same thing that you're complaining about.

No, but on a plane, I'm a beast, bruh. You can't beat me on an airplane.

SPEAKER_4 (0:36)

I don't watch on a plane, yeah.

Trevor Noah (0:37)

I sleep on a plane. Yeah, you sleep on a plane. Ha, bruh. While you sleep, we grind.

Sizwe Dhlomo (0:42)

That is funny. But the reason why they do it is one, out of frustration, but also because they've seen that no government official is going to come here until the school is burning. Here's the paradox about Eugene, right?

Eugene is inquisitive enough to make himself interesting, but also, no, I'm serious, but also hood enough to be ignorant.

Trevor Noah (1:05)

Don't do that. Watch documentaries at home.

Sizwe Dhlomo (1:09)

Because also with doggies, you may want to research certain things.

Trevor Noah (1:11)

There you go.

Sizwe Dhlomo (1:12)

How are you researching what I'm making?

SPEAKER_4 (1:13)

I believe the director.

Trevor Noah (1:23)

This is What Now? with Trevor Noah.

Yo, I have a question for you guys.

Sizwe Dhlomo (1:38)

Yeah.

Trevor Noah (1:39)

I need your advice as friends. I was thinking of going to Turkey to get a beard.

SPEAKER_4 (1:44)

No. Yeah.

Trevor Noah (1:45)

Why no? Why a beard guy so quick to stop me from getting a beard?

Sizwe Dhlomo (1:50)

He thinks he's gay keeping the beard.

SPEAKER_4 (1:53)

Guys, he thinks you are gay.

Trevor Noah (1:57)

I think, I should go.

SPEAKER_4 (1:57)

100 percent.

Sizwe Dhlomo (1:58)

I don't think you should go.

SPEAKER_5 (1:59)

Why not?

Sizwe Dhlomo (2:00)

Because funny enough, this is your theory, right? So you can either have hair on top of the head, and then no beard, or you can have a beard and no hair on top of the head.

SPEAKER_4 (2:12)

Or you don't believe in my two feet.

SPEAKER_5 (2:13)

You can't have both, brah.

Sizwe Dhlomo (2:14)

Imagine if you're rolling with a throw and a beard. This is too much.

Trevor Noah (2:17)

Yeah, but I want options. And what I've realized is, no, let me tell you what happened. So early on in my life, I gave up my beard rights, because I didn't know what the future would hold. Because you guys forget this now.

Sizwe Dhlomo (2:27)

But you lasered it, right?

Trevor Noah (2:29)

I lasered it. I lasered my beard off.

So what people forget is like, beards are cool now. See you guys roll with them. But a few years ago, these things were disgusting.

SPEAKER_4 (2:38)

Very fairly.

Trevor Noah (2:40)

Having this on your face all the time.

SPEAKER_4 (2:41)

I've had accounts decline because of that.

Sizwe Dhlomo (2:43)

That is funny. I'm from KZN, and like, beards are just a thing there.

Trevor Noah (2:47)

Yes.

SPEAKER_5 (2:48)

As I said, disgusting.

Trevor Noah (2:56)

So what I'm saying is like, for a long time, beards were considered like unkemmed.

Sizwe Dhlomo (3:00)

Beards were...

Trevor Noah (3:01)

You couldn't be in corporate work with beards. You couldn't be on TV with a beard.

Sizwe Dhlomo (3:04)

Yeah.

Trevor Noah (3:04)

You couldn't be a president with a beard. You couldn't be like... Beard was just not considered, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_4 (3:09)

You look suspicious.

Trevor Noah (3:10)

Yeah. Then I think pandemic was probably the last step. But before that, beards started like coming into the game, coming into the game. You get what I'm saying?

Sizwe Dhlomo (3:17)

Yeah.

Trevor Noah (3:17)

Then you saw like what led them in with a beard, Jon Stewart, Colbert, et cetera. Yeah. So you started seeing like people rocking beards, rocking beards. Now I feel like I've given up my legacy and inheritance.

SPEAKER_4 (3:30)

Too soon.

Trevor Noah (3:31)

Not too soon. It's just like, I don't have the option.

Sizwe Dhlomo (3:34)

You should have considered us before you went for laser to be quite honest.

SPEAKER_4 (3:37)

I didn't know us then.

Trevor Noah (3:37)

But how was I supposed to know then?