Smart Financial Decisions Beat Big Risks

Dave Ramsey (0:02)

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George Kamel (0:12)

Normal is broke, and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Kamel, my co-host today, Jade Warshaw, and we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225.

That's how you jump into the conversation. Dan is in Charlotte to kick us off. Dan, how can we help?

SPEAKER_3 (0:38)

It's great talking to you all. Thank you for taking my call.

George Kamel (0:41)

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_3 (0:42)

So I'm in a situation where my son has consistently been in and out of debt.

At one time, I had him come home and live with us so we could help him clear out of the debt. Paid about half his debt off. And so now he's back in the same situation again. He has some relationship problems. I think he struggles with depression and anxiety.

And right now he is flat broke. He crashed his car while doing deliveries, so he doesn't have a car to make any money. And we got him through this month's rent, but we don't know how the next month's going to look in thereafter. So my question is, I don't want to throw money away and not have him make any progress, but he does need help too. And I don't know, he doesn't seem to be able to find help on his own. And the advice I give him, sometimes he takes, sometimes he doesn't. So it's kind of a mess. I'm not sure where to go with this.

Jade Warshaw (1:45)

You said that he needs help. You mentioned anxiety and depression. I wonder, is he getting the mental help that he needs? Is he seeing anybody? Is he doing anything on that side of the equation? Because the way it sounded, it kind of feels like that's kind of affecting this entire situation.

SPEAKER_3 (2:06)

I think it is. He's been to a few therapy sessions that he had to pay for himself. He doesn't have any health insurance, and so he's not able to go to those anymore. I tried to get him to seek public assistance to be able to do those things, but it just doesn't seem like he knows how to navigate the systems.

He's out in California. I'm here in North Carolina, so it's very hard to help him to manage that situation.

George Kamel (2:39)

How old is he?

SPEAKER_3 (2:41)

35

George Kamel (2:42)

Oh, wow. Has this been going on his whole adult life since he graduated high school?

SPEAKER_3 (2:47)

Yes. He's been in and out of jobs.

From my understanding, he's a very hard worker, but he just can't maintain a good working environment.

Jade Warshaw (2:56)

What happens? What takes place?

SPEAKER_3 (3:00)

I think he just gets overwhelmed. He's a loner type of person, and I think he gets overwhelmed with a lot of people around him.

He's been doing door-dash deliveries, and he's doing pretty well at that, because he's his own boss and he doesn't have to interact with a lot of people. I think that's probably the way he needs to go, but I do think he has an on-and-off relationship, and it's off now, and I think that contributed to a lot of things recently.

Jade Warshaw (3:35)

Wow. I mean, I'm not sure, but a lot of what you're saying, Dan, is leading me to believe that this is not at the core a money issue. I think at the core, it sounds like more of a personal issue, more of a mental health issue.

However, going back to your initial question, which is, you gave him the money to pay off the debt, he's right back in. How much money did you give him the first time or that you used to pay off the debt?

SPEAKER_3 (4:02)

It was probably around between $7,000 and $8,000, something like that.

Jade Warshaw (4:07)

How much does he have now?

SPEAKER_3 (4:10)

He has over $10,000.

Jade Warshaw (4:12)

$10,000.

If you could describe his lowest low, what's his lowest low been? I mean, has he been homeless? Has he been? What's that look like?

SPEAKER_3 (4:23)

Lowest low is probably now he's got a very sketchy living situation, I guess, of shelter, but-

George Kamel (4:36)

Is it dangerous?

You say sketchy. Are there drugs involved? What level, if I looked into his life, what would be my synopsis?

SPEAKER_3 (4:46)

It's not up to residential standards. It's like a commercial refit that's not zoned for residential.

Jade Warshaw (4:53)

Okay. Do you think there's any substances involved or what do you think?