Russian Agents Leave Upper Deckers

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

Let me read you this headline from The Daily Mail. Russian agents defecated in Finnish politicians' toilet after breaking into their homes in bizarre new hybrid war.

SPEAKER_2 (0:12)

That's quite a headline.

SPEAKER_1 (0:15)

That's quite a story.

Reading this story from The Daily Mail, it appears that at least 20 officers have reported mysterious break-ins at their homes, and every single one of them reported that somebody had left a present in their toilet when they arrived. The senior officer for Finland says that they believe the break-ins are part of a Russian plot to try to intimidate the country's politicians.

SPEAKER_2 (0:52)

Can you imagine being like a Russian spy, like the KGB or whatever, and you've worked your entire life? You've endured intimidation and awful conditions and Russian treatment, and the first assignment you get is to go poop in a Finnish politician's toilet.

SPEAKER_1 (1:18)

You graduated at the top of your espionage class.

You walked across the stage. You shook the hand of Pootie Tang, and he hands you your first assignment. Go drop an upper decker in some Finnish officer's house.

SPEAKER_2 (1:36)

That's a real thing.

SPEAKER_1 (1:37)

It is. Look, you can't start at the very top. You got to work your way up. So in this case, hey, you want to be part of the Russian, you know, old school KGB here. We're going to get the band back together.

You better be going into these Finnish houses and leaving an upper decker.