*PREVIEW* The Very Dumb Story of Jack Teixeira *LIVE IN CORK*

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

You've bought, like, you know, Discord DMT, and you're, like, tripping balls talking to the machine elves on your floor as the, like, DEA kicks in your windows, and you're like, oh my god, this is bliss.

Joe Kassabian (0:10)

I logged into Discord just so I could see the hat man.

However, I should say that Techshara seems to be, from the logs that I read, far more fucked up than anybody else on that server. Once he got his firearms license, he began buying several guns, began making videos of himself shooting them, and taking pictures with them, and trying to act like a hard ass. He started talking about a possible race war. In one video, his face is covered up. He's wearing a mask. He's wearing his Air National Guard uniform. And he says things like Jews scan, N-words rape, I magdump, and shoots at very racist looking targets. And he takes videos of that, and then posts them on the Discord. And he always made sure to cover up his face, and he goes by the handle, because he's a total fucking loser. He goes by OG.

Suburban Massachusetts, Air National Guard, original gangster.

SPEAKER_3 (1:08)

Who would have thought? I just, there's a level of vicarious cringe that you feel from this. And I don't mean like, I mean literally cringe, as in your body is cringing here. It's like this guy is such a fucking loser.

Joe Kassabian (1:17)

He's a fucking dork. Someone should have punched him in the face way before he got arrested.

SPEAKER_1 (1:21)

Can we get a vibe check from the crowd? How's everyone feeling about Jack Texera right now?

SPEAKER_3 (1:25)

Can we do a thumbs down?

SPEAKER_1 (1:27)

Yeah, this guy's such a man. Come on, thumbs up, thumbs down. Come on, can we get a boo?

SPEAKER_3 (1:31)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_1 (1:32)

Thank you.

Joe Kassabian (1:33)

But also, he's a dork and he's also a fucking idiot, right? Like he's covering up his face. He's talking about race war, but then he also gives personal identifying information to other people in individual chats by like saying, his name is Jack and he's in the Massachusetts Air National Guard. He's not covering his tracks very well for what's about to happen.

SPEAKER_1 (1:52)

Like back in the day, people read like the Turner Diaries or like James Mason's Siege. Whereas like all of these people are being radicalized by like fascist videos where like there's Minecraft video playing on the bottom.

Joe Kassabian (2:04)

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_3 (2:06)

I mean, yeah, exactly. It's like you're basically getting the flawed of the Camp of the Saints, but there's all these like love heena stills in there.

SPEAKER_1 (2:12)

Race war explained by AI Peter Griffin voice.

Joe Kassabian (2:16)

By 2022, Techshare was working at the Otis Air National Guard Base, the tech support guy.

SPEAKER_1 (2:21)

Peter, Peter the Zogger at it again. Peter the Zogger here.

Joe Kassabian (2:29)

And because of this, he had access to the joint worldwide.

SPEAKER_3 (2:32)

All right, Louis, it's okay. We got to make sure the Zog doesn't take over. They're all lizard people, you know. I just, I hate this guy so much, Joe.

Joe Kassabian (2:41)

He had access to the joint worldwide intelligence communication system. This is a computer system where thousands of classified documents are stored. Virtually as soon as Techshare gets access to the system, he begins abusing it. For example, searching around documents related to mass shootings, because his brain was so thoroughly deep-fried in conspiracy theories relating to like the Uvalde shooting, the Las Vegas shooting and the Buffalo mass shootings, he was convinced that the government was involved and was covering it up, and he could just like look them up in the system and find this paperwork.

And this probably would have never gone anywhere important if, well, history continued to happen, because February 2022, Russia invades Ukraine. Soon, searching weird conspiracy theories was chucked aside, and the Russian invasion became his new obsession and not in the online annoying way that you're probably thinking of. He began to copy down classified documents, verbatim, with a pen and paper, and then post them on ThugShaker Central. He took pictures of them with his phone, like he would put them on his kitchen table at home, snap a picture with them, and then just put them on Discord. This will become important later.

He almost certainly thought this would be greeted by his fellow online freaks as like, oh, this is so cool. You're such a cool guy for doing this for, like you're the coolest guy in the world. He just wants attention, right? He just wants Discord clout. They didn't give a single fuck. Nobody cared. In fact, they didn't care to the point that he got upset and said he would stop posting them if people wouldn't read them.