Piera Gelardi

**Piera Gelardi** (0:01)
All of a sudden, I heard this clinking sound, and I looked down at my feet, and there was a message in a bottle.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:12)
From the TED Audio Collective, this is Design Matters with Debbie Millman.
On Design Matters, Debbie talks with some of the most creative people in the world about what they do, how they got to be who they are, and what they're thinking about and working on. On this episode, a conversation with Piera Gelardi about the important role of playfulness in our lives.

**Piera Gelardi** (0:34)
Playfulness is a practice. It's a muscle that you can develop if you want to.

**Debbie Millman** (0:42)
Piera Gelardi is a creative entrepreneur, a writer, a New York Times bestselling author, and the co-founder of Refinery29, the groundbreaking media company that helped redefine how an entire generation of online readers engaged with style, culture, money, identity, and power.
Raised on the coast of Maine, Piera grew up in a family that treated imagination as part of everyday life, a sensibility that would later shape everything from Refinery29 to her newest work exploring creativity, connection, and play. Her brand new book, The Playful Way, Creativity, Connection, and Joy, Through Everyday Moments of Play, The Adult's Guide to Unlocking Innovation, Stronger Relationships, and Better Health, examines how and why playfulness is a source of resilience, curiosity, and experimentation in an increasingly anxious and performance-driven world. Piera Gelardi, welcome to Design Matters.

**Piera Gelardi** (1:47)
Thanks for having me.

**Debbie Millman** (1:48)
Piera, you grew up in a small town on the coast of Maine, as I said in my intro, in a house where ideas were treated almost like living things, and dinner conversations often became brainstorms. A casual thought like, what if we started a kids' karaoke club, would become an hour of naming, strategy, and possibility. Is it true you named your karaoke initiative Kidokey?
Kidokey. Kidokey. I mean, is it true?

**Piera Gelardi** (2:21)
That was a name my dad came up with. He's an incredible namer and I think it runs in the family because we practice a lot. We do a lot of pun games, a lot of naming, and it's actually really fun because now my daughter and I also do these brainstorms. This weekend, we were on the beach in Maine, and she was brainstorming an idea for a haunted house called Haunt You for Years.

**Debbie Millman** (2:43)
Wow, I guess the genetics is strong because these names are really good. Kitty Oakey, that's a strong kid's brand's name.

**Piera Gelardi** (2:52)
Thank you.

**Debbie Millman** (2:53)
Your father was an entrepreneur and an engineer, your mother was a social worker, an artist, a gardener, and someone deeply rooted in care and community. Growing up between invention and compassion, how did each shape the way you move through the world at that time?

**Piera Gelardi** (3:11)
Yeah, my parents shaped me in ways that I'm still uncovering. And I think with my dad, I grew up, he was an entrepreneur, he worked a lot. He was away a lot for work, but when he was home, he really prioritized play and creativity with us. So one of my favorite activities was he and I, we did a dollhouse from scratch and we wired it with electricity. We made miniature books and we would find things in a recycling bin and turn them into furniture. So we'd take a toothpaste cap and make it into a lampshade. Of course. And so he really showed me that sort of that blend of work and play is really vital and really alive and that it's important for us to play into adulthood. And he has such an experimental and curious mind. So that really shaped me.
And then my mom, yeah, someone who was a social worker and very rooted in care and community. She's the kind of person that brings you a pot of soup if you're sick. And with her, I think what shaped me the most was her obsession with the dialectic. So the idea that things can be both and. You know, she has children's eyes, like eyes of wonder. But she's also someone who grew up with a lot of trauma and worked with people who were working through a lot of trauma. And so that really shaped me the way that she could hold to truths that felt dialectically opposed.
Also the way that she really used that sort of wonder and curiosity and playfulness to move through the world and to continue to grow and move through hard things.

**Debbie Millman** (4:48)
One of your earliest forms of play was beach combing along the main coastline. And you described learning to find treasure where others saw debris. How early did you begin training yourself to look differently or was that something that just came really naturally to you?