Parent Talk: Gender, Identity, Sexuality Conversations

Anna Brantley (0:00)

Hey, parents, you're listening to God's Big Story, Parent Talk, a mini episode just for you.

Matt McCauley (0:05)

Hey, we see you, we are cheering for you, and we're so glad you're here. I'm Matt.

Anna Brantley (0:10)

And I'm Anna. Today, we're talking about a topic that, if we're being honest, can make a lot of parents a little nervous, how to talk to our kids about gender, sexuality, and identity.

Matt McCauley (0:22)

Yep, this can be one of those topics where parents can feel like, all right, I know I need to talk about this, I just don't know when, I don't know how much to share, what words to use, and I really don't want to mess this up.

Anna Brantley (0:37)

Maybe your child came home from school with a question, or maybe they heard a word from a friend that they don't understand. Maybe they noticed something about another family, or maybe they're beginning to ask questions about their own body and identity.

Matt McCauley (0:50)

Yeah, parents, the first thing we want to tell you is, don't panic.

A question isn't an emergency, a question is an invitation. When your child brings you something they heard, saw, wondered about, or even personally are wrestling with, they are opening up a door and giving you an opportunity to disciple them.

Anna Brantley (1:13)

And we don't want our kids to feel like there are certain subjects that are too scary or awkward or shameful to bring to mom and dad.

Matt McCauley (1:21)

Exactly, our goal isn't to have the one perfect conversation where we explain everything absolutely perfectly about gender and sexuality. Honestly, I don't know anyone that can do that. And please don't do that to your six year old.

Anna Brantley (1:36)

That's right, our goal is to build a relationship where these conversations can happen again and again as our kids grow.

Matt McCauley (1:43)

So today we want to give you three big ideas. One, start with God's good design.

Two, tell the truth simply. And then last, keep the door open.

Anna Brantley (1:56)

Okay, let's start with that first one, God's good design. Because sometimes we can be tempted to approach these conversations by immediately talking about everything that's wrong.

Matt McCauley (2:06)

That's right, but the Bible doesn't begin in Genesis 1, and everything is wrong. It begins with everything that's good. Genesis 1, 27 says, So, God created man in his own image, and the image of God, he created them.

Male and female, he created them.

Anna Brantley (2:23)

That's right. And before we talk to our kids about confusion, sin, sexuality or brokenness, we want to give them a big, beautiful vision for what God created. So, what are some of these foundational truths, Matt?

Matt McCauley (2:35)

I think we can make them really simple. First, God made you in his image.

And that means that God made your body. And then he made people male and female. And men and women have equal dignity and value and worth because both are made in God's image. And your body that he created is a good gift from God. And ultimately, you, all of you, your heart, your soul, your mind, your body belong to God. Those are truths that we can begin with, we can start with, we can build off of those truths when they're little.

Anna Brantley (3:10)

And what I like about starting with those simple truths is it means that we don't have to wait until our child asks some big question about gender to begin discipling them in this area.

Matt McCauley (3:20)

Exactly. Like think about the toddler asking, why is she a girl and I'm a boy? Like that's a discipleship moment. You don't need a 45-minute presentation with PowerPoints and slides. You can just say, God made boys and girls. And he made your body on purpose. And your body, whether male or female, is a good gift from him. That's it.

Anna Brantley (3:41)

Yeah. And as they grow, we can add more layers to that.

Matt McCauley (3:45)

Right. It's really the same thing we say about teaching the Bible. You don't hand your preschooler a systematic theology book and say, all right, let's figure this out. We're doing the Trinity Day. You start with the truths that they can understand, knowing that you can build on those as they grow.

Anna Brantley (4:01)

Exactly. And you give them true things they can understand today. You lay that solid foundation and then you build on those truths as they grow. And like you said, with theology, it's the same when you're talking about gender identity and sexuality.

So let's get practical because I think one of the fears that parents have is what do I actually say in these conversations, Matt?