Nostradamus Throws His Back Out While Sneezing

**SPEAKER_2** (0:40)
Hello, Wankers, this is Legit Bat Podcast. We're so happy you could join us in this horse-cockery.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:44)
Allow me to introduce your hosts, Joseph, Jennifer, and Benjamin.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:48)
Victory will be mine!

**SPEAKER_3** (0:53)
Well, hello, welcome back to Planet Retard. We got more stupid stories for you tonight. Just a reminder, our Magic Mine thing, if you didn't hear it on the last Planet Retard, if you have a shitty job or just any other reason why you'd want to try Magic Mine...

**SPEAKER_4** (1:09)
Yeah, it doesn't have to be a shitty job. I don't want it to be like super negative.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:12)
No, it could just be because you want to fucking try it. But the better the story, the crazier the story or the better your reason, the better chance you have of winning it. And we're going to send five free bottles to whoever wins that. And we're going to read the first submission we had.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:26)
I don't know, we shouldn't start it out this way.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:28)
Well, no, I just want to read his email and then we can get on with the stories.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:32)
Okay.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:33)
We'll talk about Magic Mine later. It's fine. I just wanted people to know off the top that we had a contest going on.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:38)
So, yeah, so a guy wrote in Gram, I think, or dude, Gram Sky. I looked him up on Facebook like a stalker. I think it is a guy for sure.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:46)
He'll appreciate that.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:49)
And he just said his job is terrible. He stacks newspapers. It sounded like everyone that worked there hated him. And he said he needed the Magic Mine stuff. It was pretty awesome. I'm probably going to send you one anyway, dude, just because he was the first one to write in. I want to hear all your stories. It doesn't have to be about work. That's my reason for taking Magic Mine, but it doesn't have to be yours. If you're going through something that is maybe a little bit challenging, and you just want to see the brighter side of life.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:16)
Well, the reason people hate him at his job is because he's the only white guy.

**SPEAKER_4** (2:20)
White people are awesome.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:21)
Yeah, we think you're awesome too. All right, let's get to the stories. Let's do the buttons, all the buttons. Share, share screen, share screen options. Oh, no. No, it's different when it looks like this. I'm not kidding. Why is it just not have the, oh, there it is. All right, we'll figure it out like usual.
All right, so Nobel Prize news, Nobel Prize winners include research into butt breathing and coin flips.

**SPEAKER_4** (2:54)
This is right up your alley.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:56)
I've been practicing butt breathing for quite some time.
There is a video with this one, but I'll read a little bit first. The Journal of Improbable Research announced this year's IG, IG Nobel Prize winners, including a team who researched mammals that breathe through their butts. The 34th annual, 34th first annual, okay. A tongue-in-cheek celebration of unusual scientific achievements. Okay, that's why. It was held Thursday at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. The ceremony, inspired by, but not affiliated with the Nobel Prizes, was held in person after being held virtually for the past three years. Ten prizes were awarded at the ceremony, which is also live streamed on YouTube. This year's Peace Prize was posthumously awarded to BF. Skinner for his 1960 research into whether live pigeons could be housed inside missiles to guide their flight paths.

**SPEAKER_4** (3:49)
Oh, that's the Peace Prize?

**SPEAKER_3** (3:52)
Oh, the 1960s.

**SPEAKER_4** (3:53)
That is very tongue in cheek. That's quite the Peace Prize.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:57)
The Botany Prize went to, there's been weird actual Nobel Peace Prizes that are like, that has nothing to do with peace at all. The Botany Prize went to Jacob White and Felipe Yamashita for finding evidence that some real plants, some real plants imitate the shapes of neighboring artificial plastic plants.

**SPEAKER_4** (4:18)
That is so cool. I love plants so much. They don't have eyes, but they can imitate that. How do they know?

**SPEAKER_3** (4:23)
They can feel the vibes, man.

**SPEAKER_4** (4:25)
There's something cool about plants. Anyway, what's next?

**SPEAKER_3** (4:27)
The Anatomy Prize went to a team of scientists from France and Chile for studying whether the hair on the heads of most people in the Northern Hemisphere swirls in the same direction, clockwise or counterclockwise, as hair on the heads of most people in the Southern Hemisphere, thus proving the globe. Checkmate flurfs. Just kidding.