New Year New Roast

Chris DiStefano (0:05)

Welcome to the fourth episode of The Winter Bears.

Stav Kreischer (0:11)

The finale.

Chris DiStefano (0:12)

The finale. Now, very similarly, we have people, the big wigs from YMH, the behind the scenes guys, are all here to try to talk us into doing a show permanently on the network. And what is the answer going to be?

Stav Kreischer (0:29)

The answer is a resounding no. Absolutely not. Chris, you're already looking for houses in Texas. You're ready to move to Austin. You're ready to fucking completely change. Right. You're ready to go. No. This has been a great time. I've enjoyed hanging out here in the studio. They have a lot of amenities.

Chris DiStefano (0:48)

They do.

Stav Kreischer (0:49)

They have a whole staff.

Chris DiStefano (0:50)

They do.

Stav Kreischer (0:51)

I'm actually pretty sluggish because I have, I've continued to crush pastries. They have a lot of, they have a lot of snacks here.

Chris DiStefano (0:59)

Right.

Stav Kreischer (0:59)

I had way too many croissants.

Chris DiStefano (1:02)

Sure.

Stav Kreischer (1:03)

So I'm bringing 2026 This is 2026 after all, Chris. I'm bringing in sluggish.

Chris DiStefano (1:08)

Yeah.

Stav Kreischer (1:09)

And I'm ready to get home to beautiful New York City.

Chris DiStefano (1:11)

New York City. Now-

Stav Kreischer (1:12)

I'm ready to hold hands with you on our Delta flight back.

Chris DiStefano (1:14)

Oh, dude, I hope. What seat are you? Do you know?

Stav Kreischer (1:16)

I'm 5D.

Chris DiStefano (1:17)

I'm 3A. Damn.

Stav Kreischer (1:18)

Fuck.

Chris DiStefano (1:19)

But we'll still hang. I'll ask, I'll ask my seatmate to switch.

Stav Kreischer (1:23)

Yeah.

Chris DiStefano (1:24)

So you and I could sit next to each other. Now, here's the, let's be honest.

Stav Kreischer (1:27)

You can't even, here's the problem, dude. You know, not to start. I mean, would it be an episode of, would it be a run of 2 Bears without talking about the fact that we're in first class and complaining about it?

Chris DiStefano (1:38)

Yes.

Stav Kreischer (1:39)

The one of the downsides of first class, you can't as easily secretly suck your friend off sitting next to him. Because there's real partitions there.

Chris DiStefano (1:47)

Yes.

Stav Kreischer (1:48)

Back in the day, you could do sneaky gay shit if you're in the back.

Chris DiStefano (1:51)

Yeah.

Stav Kreischer (1:52)

Back in the day, I was always, I always liked being near the bathroom because I thought maybe people, they were the least desirable seats. So if any middle seat is going to be open as a fat person, I would get the one right by the bathroom. And the worst was when it's a full flight and it smells like shit and you're rubbing thighs with another grown man.

Chris DiStefano (2:09)

Yeah.

Stav Kreischer (2:10)

But a lot of times it would work out for me and I would have a whole road to myself and I could get through. By the way, I'm the guy shitting. Because someone shitting in an airplane, it is an insanely fat guy who got way too much Popeyes at the fucking, at the food court.

Chris DiStefano (2:24)

Yeah.

Stav Kreischer (2:24)

Because once you're in, once you know you're flying, there's no nutritional law.

Chris DiStefano (2:29)

Zero rules.

Stav Kreischer (2:30)

You cry, I fucking, I would use, even when I was broke, I would probably spend more on snacks and even, because I used to find the most budget flight I could.

Chris DiStefano (2:40)

Yeah.

Stav Kreischer (2:40)

And then I would go and spend like $40 on Haribo gummies and fucking fried chicken and fucking shit. I've almost missed flights. I've been, they've called my name while I've been in line at Chick-fil-A and I've just been like, come on, come on, I need my fucking nuggets.

Chris DiStefano (2:54)

Yeah.

Stav Kreischer (2:55)

And I literally was just fucking wanting to get it.

Chris DiStefano (2:57)

Nothing better than watching a fat guy run to his flight.

Stav Kreischer (3:00)

Yeah.

Chris DiStefano (3:01)

One of the best things you could see if you're just like sitting there, I'm in the terminal just waiting then boom.

Stav Kreischer (3:05)

A guy who does not usually run, you can tell.

Chris DiStefano (3:07)

Yeah.

Stav Kreischer (3:08)

You're like, this guy is about to pop. Like an ACL is on the verge of being just completely popped.

Chris DiStefano (3:15)

My physical therapy degree pops up. I'm like, yeah, I can run over there.

Stav Kreischer (3:18)

Oh, I need a fucking massage.

Chris DiStefano (3:19)

I'll do it up, dude.

Stav Kreischer (3:20)