JP Miller Called It 'Protection' — Federal Prosecutors Call It Cyberstalking

Tony Brueski (0:01)

This is Hidden Killers Live with Tony Brueski and Robin Drake.

Tony Brueski (0:08)

The most dangerous abusers out there don't just use threats behind closed doors, they manipulate. The very system is designed to protect us. When federal investigators pressed JP Miller on why he was tracking Mica's car, he didn't deny it. He claimed he was protecting her from hurting herself. What a chivalrous man he is. I mean, let that sink in.

While she was held in a mental health facility, he allegedly then swooped in and took her phone, her car, and her laptop. Again, looking out for her. Today, Shavaun Scott, psychotherapist and author, is here to help us break down a terrifying tactic known as carewashing, how abusers disguise their extreme coercive stalking as chivalrous, paternal concern, and why the system falls forward almost every single time.

Let's talk, Shavaun, about how a stalker actually convinces themselves, number one, and the people around them, that slapping tracking devices on a woman's car and surveilling her every move is an act of love and protection, rather than sheer terrifying control. Because it's not always, I'm blotting over here in the corner, here's how I'm going to follow her and stalk her. No, a lot of times, they too believe what they're doing is good.

Shavaun Scott (1:30)

Yeah, very true. I call it hostility under the cloak of benevolence, right? I'm only doing this because I love you.

But the monitoring like that, is it designed to really help a person and keep them safe, or is it control? In this case, it was clearly the hostility and the need to control, and is it giving somebody a greater sense of health and autonomy? Yes, I know that I've got vulnerabilities, so I don't mind. My husband, we live in an urban area, right? In Portland, and there is crime in certain parts of the city. So my husband, I'm very clear, monitors my cell phone when I'm going across town, and I'm fine with that. I just want to know you're not carjacked or something, right? Sure. That's okay.

That feels benevolent and compassionate, and I appreciate that. But what he was doing to Mica was terrifying and creepy, and that had to escalate her sense of anxiety and panic, and how the hell do I get away from this person? So it's not coming out of a place of genuine concern. And yet, because there was a narrative about she's mentally ill, and again, we don't know to what extent did she have her own vulnerability to psychological problems. It was certainly pushed along by him.

But people, I'm sure his followers bought into that. Oh, he just loves her so much that this is what he has to do to keep her safe.

Tony Brueski (3:04)

Yes, and I want to caveat that the attorney that was representing the family of Mica now, and was her divorce attorney, just did an interview the other day.

And she's questioning a lot of that, of saying she's never seen the evidence of any of these diagnoses. Not to say they don't exist, but like you said, a lot of this has been pushed by John Paul Miller and simply accepted that, oh, she was bipolar, and she might have been. She very well might have been. She did exhibit some symptoms of probably not being in a very healthy place. But I guess some of the question is, how did she get there? Was that already there? Or was this exacerbated by John Paul? Or was this, it was what happens when you deprive someone of sleep and torture them and do the horrendous things you do to them. We see it so often. The abuser knows the optics matter more than anything else, far more than reality. The abuser walks into the room and they're articulate and completely composed and can explain away what's happening. You know, Mike, it was exactly what he did over and over and over. You know, her, she wasn't well, she was mentally ill. She's, you know, but she's in a better place. The victim looks exhausted, terrified, hysterical. I mean, how do those malignant narcissists exploit that dynamic to manipulate doctors and cops into thinking the victim is the unstable one? It's one thing to do it to your congregation that believes anything you tell them. It's another when you're getting the medical experts and the community and the police to go along with your bullshit too.

Shavaun Scott (4:42)

I think one thing that's not commonly understood is that PTSD, particularly in a situation like Mica was in, where she also had the religious background, which is her heart was to follow God. I think she had to be very muddled and confused about all of that, and that's why she had been trapped with him so long and feeling like she had to submit. I don't have any doubt that she was having intense trauma responses, which can cause anxiety, depression. Could it push a person into mania? I think it could.