John Gray: Why Men Stop Wanting Their Wives

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

Modern life keeps your nervous system in overdrive. Most solutions try to change your brain chemistry, but your body also runs on electrical signals and rhythms. Your brain uses electrical waves, your heart beats in patterns, and your nervous system sends signals through tiny pulses. Light and sound are also forms of energy your body can sense. Scientists have studied them for decades because certain wavelengths and frequencies influence how cells and nerves respond. That's why I use the One device. It combines light and sound in a wearable. It sends gentle signals your body can respond to while you work, meditate, or wind down. Most wearables just track stress. The One device supports your nervous system directly, without any Bluetooth or EMFs. People who wear it report sleeping more deeply and feeling calmer, more focused, energized, and grounded. It's wearable frequency support you can use all day long. Learn more at the one device.com/dave.

Dave Asprey (1:08)

You get home late, you're hungry.

SPEAKER_1 (1:10)

Now you have to figure out what's for dinner.

Dave Asprey (1:12)

That's when healthy eating gets hard. But having quality protein ready to cook changes that. ButcherBox delivers a 100 percent grass-fed beef, organic chicken and wild-caught seafood and more. They put a lot of work into their sourcing, which is why I like it. You get clear information about where your meat comes from and how they source it. I love the convenience of always knowing I have a grass-fed steak that I could just throw on the grill, and I know it came from a good place. You choose the cuts and the proteins you want, then ButcherBox delivers them straight to your door. So when dinner rolls around, you already have something you feel good about cooking.

SPEAKER_1 (1:39)

So to get the best meat on your table easily, give ButcherBox a try.

Dave Asprey (1:43)

Go to butcherbox.com/humanupgrade and they'll give you $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ribeye, New York strip or filet in every box for a year with free shipping always. That's butcherbox.com/humanupgrade. Be sure to use the link so they know we sent you and you get the discount. You're listening to The Human Upgrade with Dave Asprey.

SPEAKER_1 (2:04)

Formerly, Bulletproof Radio.

Dave Asprey (2:16)

You're listening to The Human Upgrade with Dave Asprey.

Today's episode is one that I just have been looking forward to for a long time. It is with a dear friend, a guy who's taught me so much and a guy you've probably heard of, John Gray. He's the author of a very famous book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, and probably 40 other books. How many books have you written now, John?

John Gray (2:41)

Well, just 25

Dave Asprey (2:43)

Oh, my gosh. It's such a slacker. I'm at eight, by the way, just to be clear.

John Gray (2:48)

Congrats. They're amazing books.

Dave Asprey (2:51)

Oh, thank you. Truly. Coming from you, that means a lot.

The thing I wanted to chat about here is, you know, things have changed since the 90s. And so you wrote a then and now version of this, with the idea being even over that 20 or 30 year range, that the most common relationship problems are, at least between men and women, are because of fundamental psychological differences between the sexes. Has anything changed in that view over the course of your last 30 years, or is this just kind of, this is a fundamental problem?

John Gray (3:30)

Well, I think men are still men, women are still men, women. But the challenges we face are completely different. As soon as women started being independent from men, making more money, being independent, being highly educated, what do they need a man for? So that changed everything. So many single women will say, why do I need a man in my life? Well, if you don't know what you need a man for, why do I want to be with you? Because ultimately men are looking for a job. They want to be successful. Everything we do is to be successful. And many women listening are going to go, yeah, I want that too. That's her masculine side.

But if you're a man and you have a biology of a man, feeling successful and providing for others, solving problems, getting things done, setting goals and achieving those goals produces male-friendly hormones, testosterone. And women with the same intention of solving problems, fixing things, achieving your goals, making money, they make testosterone as well. And it's not that testosterone is not female-friendly. It's just testosterone doesn't lower a woman's stress levels. Testosterone will lower a man's stress levels. And how I say that is when a man is experiencing high cortisol levels, chronic stress, his testosterone levels are low.