It's Never Too Late To Start Over

**Rachel Cruze** (0:32)
So we will be answering your questions at 888-825-5225, about your life and your money.

**George Kamel** (0:38)
Let's pregame before the happy hour.

**Rachel Cruze** (0:40)
I know, we leave for a recording right after this. So we're together all afternoon, me and George.

**George Kamel** (0:44)
I apologized already to Rachel, don't worry.

**Rachel Cruze** (0:48)
All right, let's go to Kurt in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Kurt, welcome to the show.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:53)
Hey, how you doing?

**SPEAKER_4** (0:54)
Hey, thanks, how you guys doing?

**Rachel Cruze** (0:56)
Hi, we're doing great, how are you doing?

**SPEAKER_4** (0:57)
Good, I'm doing good. So I got a question. So we have some debt and I'm not quite sure how much. I know we do have a loan for 25,000.
We have a car payment, well, we have two car payments. And my wife says she has, we have about three or four years left on the one car.
But every time I bring up Dave Ramsey, she, my wife, cringes. Her ex-husband, you know, lived by Dave Ramsey. And every time she says, I hear that name, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to have anything to do with you because I hate that name. I want to follow what Dave says, but she doesn't want that. So I just feel like we're continuing, just continuing to just pile on more debt. And I mean, she wants, you know, we want to do things, but it's like, how can we? I don't say it to her, but it's like, how can we? We don't have any money. We're just going deeper into debt.

**Rachel Cruze** (1:58)
Yeah. How long have you guys been married?

**SPEAKER_4** (2:00)
20 years.

**Rachel Cruze** (2:01)
How long, oh, okay. How long was she married to her ex?

**SPEAKER_4** (2:06)
Just a short time, I believe, a year and a half.

**Rachel Cruze** (2:08)
Oh, okay. Okay.

**George Kamel** (2:09)
So she has thrown the Baby Steps out with the bathwater here. It's unfortunate.

**SPEAKER_4** (2:13)
Correct, yeah.

**George Kamel** (2:14)
It's a trigger for her. She associates with her past trauma. And so therefore, anything you talk about, the Baby Steps and Dave, but does she actually want to get out of debt on the underneath the surface of that?

**SPEAKER_4** (2:27)
I don't think she does. I think she's, I don't want to say used to living like this, but it might be the normal for her.

**Rachel Cruze** (2:33)
Yeah, and I think there's a lot of situations where people just can kind of coast.
They're not in a disaster zone, but they're also not thriving. They're kind of just average. You know what I mean? It's just kind of that normal feeling.

**George Kamel** (2:47)
It's one of the hardest places to be.

**Rachel Cruze** (2:49)
Yeah, I was gonna say, and it is sometimes tough if there's not a massive motivation for change. And for some people, it's spiritual and emotional. Some people, it's circumstantial. Like, I mean, it looks different for everyone.
And so I think more of the concentration would be how you guys get on the same page, right? I mean, we obviously agree on a way to handle money here at Ramsey Solutions. But what we wanna see you guys is win in your marriage and win with money. So I'm just, I wanna talk through a little bit more of how to get you guys on the same page.

**SPEAKER_4** (3:26)
Okay.

**Rachel Cruze** (3:28)
So when you do bring it up, what you're wording, cause sometimes, Kurt, I'm not gonna put you in this bucket, but some of our listeners sometimes are very enthusiastic. And it's almost this like, I'm gonna, a level of shame, you're doing it wrong, it's all about her, you, you, you, versus less about what you're thinking and feeling and desiring. Does that make sense?

**SPEAKER_4** (3:52)
Yeah, that does make sense. And she doesn't, so she does not, right now she doesn't work. And so she hasn't worked for many years. And so she says her job is to take care of the house and pay the bills. So when I try to bring up, well, how much do we owe on this? I don't like flat out say, what do we owe on this? What do we have on this? How much is the monthly payment?
I just kind of nonchalantly try to get it out of her. But she just, I don't know the exact any numbers. I don't want to say any numbers, but some of the numbers.

**Rachel Cruze** (4:25)
You don't know a lot. Yeah. I mean, as you're listing it, you're like, I don't. Yeah. And Kurt, you know, asking how much you guys owe on something, that's not wrong. That's not shameful.