Is this Anything?

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

The Hammer and Nigel presents is.

Jerry Lopez (0:06)

It depends upon what the meaning of the word is. Is this anything? All right, let's rock and roll.

SPEAKER_1 (0:15)

Is This Anything is brought to you by Indiana Unclaimed, a program presented by the Attorney General's Office here in Indiana. The Attorney General's Office reuniting Hoosiers with over one million bucks in unclaimed property every single week, fast, easy, and free.

Free is the key word there. Indianaunclaimed.gov. Big Nige is out, Jerry Lopez is in, so I'm going to run these stories by Indy Spenglish himself. He's going to break down all the information and tell you if it's anything or not.

Is This Anything? A guy was caught on camera smashing through the window of a tech company in Arizona and carrying out dozens of Mac Minis, the computers, but it wasn't really Mac Minis. Turns out those were empty boxes. Here's an employee.

SPEAKER_3 (1:06)

I come in, the window was smashed to pieces.

SPEAKER_1 (1:08)

Just him grabbing the boxes and taking them out with him. Just empty boxes. Our computers were right there in front of them. They just steal the boxes instead.

SPEAKER_3 (1:17)

Really low IQ.

SPEAKER_1 (1:18)

They just stole empty boxes. Everyone was laughing. Is That Anything? That's the easiest way to get your trash taken out. I don't know what that like. You didn't know. You didn't pick it up and even look in one. You deserve to go to jail for being stupid. Right. You've got five, six of these things in your hand and you're not thinking this is surprisingly light. These are really many. Right. Right. You deserve nothing. You should get the Willy Wonka speech. You get nothing. Good day, sir.

For this next story, Nick, can I get some mood music, please?

You own a Golden Girls T-shirt.

Jerry Lopez (2:01)

Yeah, but it says Thug Life on it.

SPEAKER_1 (2:03)

I think Crystal has the same shirt.

SPEAKER_3 (2:04)

It has the Golden Girls on it.

SPEAKER_1 (2:05)

Yes. There's a new documentary out about Bea Arthur. What is she? She was the tall one, not the old one, but the main character.

Bea Arthur, that's the actress's name.

The name of the documentary is something she used to say all the time. It's a quote. Now, keep in mind, Bea Arthur was a TV star. She had parts on All in the Family, got her own spinoff on Maude and then later in The Golden Girls. The new Bea Arthur documentary has an awesome name. Take a listen.

Jerry Lopez (2:48)

There I was, I was the only person who had ever talked back to Archie. Most of it was really hilarious. She didn't get Maude until she was 49 years old. I mean, there's a whole career that happened before that. God, I have done everything, everything except porn.

And they're still young.

SPEAKER_1 (3:10)

Is that a baby?

So it's called I've done everything except porn. That's the name, a quote from Bea Arthur, who was Dorothy, by the way, Crystal Weisend, it was Dorothy on The Golden Girls. Is that anything? I mean, I can help her with that. I'm looking for a good old gilf, if you know what I mean. Like, you know, I'm not mad. I'm not mad. We can start at only gams. Oh. Just grandma photos, dude. I promise you that already exists. If not, I'm starting it. If people find people dressed up in like furry costumes, you know, exciting, I promise you there's a million grandma sites out there. A million grandma sites. I have to play Buffalo Nichols and stamp collections and just random things like that. Yeah. The best thing about hooking up with a grandma is when you leave the next morning, she gives you like to go containers and candy.

Yeah. Bunch of Tupperware.

Is this anything? A 90-pound dog named Otto was rescued after falling down a steep cliff in Washington State, and he was stranded about 30 feet below the top. Washington State Animal Rescue Teams brought in specialized equipment and then more rescuers who used a rope and pulley system anchored to pick up a truck specifically designed to carry Otto to safety. Sounds like a lot of work here. Here's Otto's owner.

SPEAKER_3 (4:31)

It's like a 250-foot cliff right here. He went out and then plink out down 50 meters. The first sheriff that arrived had all the climbing gear and stuff in his car, and they were able to get down at least to him to calm him down and wait for the search and rescue guys to come. I'm grateful for people that have the ability to take time out of their lives and do something like that. It could have been a horrible outcome without a team like that. I'm not even sure how we would have gotten him up.