Is This Anything?

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

The Hammer and Nigel Presents is the sign. It depends upon what the meaning of the word is.

SPEAKER_2 (0:11)

Is this anything?

SPEAKER_1 (0:13)

All right, let's rock and roll. Oh yeah, live from Coaches Tavern, downtown Indianapolis, brought to you by Indiana Unclaimed, a program presented by the Attorney General's Office here in Indiana, reuniting Hoosiers Hammer with over $1 million in unclaimed property every single week.

SPEAKER_3 (0:32)

Every damn week?

SPEAKER_1 (0:33)

Every damn week.

SPEAKER_3 (0:34)

On the telephone?

SPEAKER_1 (0:35)

Fast, easy, and free to search at indianunclaimed.gov.

SPEAKER_3 (0:42)

Is this anything? The most popular toy of the year might be an item called Buttface.

SPEAKER_1 (0:50)

I thought you were going to say like Transformers or something like that.

SPEAKER_3 (0:53)

Nope. Buttface. It's a squishy doll type thing named Chester Cheeks.

And tweens love it because it looks like a butt and it makes fart sounds.

SPEAKER_1 (1:07)

I love it.

SPEAKER_3 (1:08)

I think the Hammer and Nigel Show love it. Here's the commercial.

SPEAKER_2 (1:13)

What's that? It's Chester Cheeks, the ultimate buttface prankster. Squeeze and he lets it rip. He's dropping beats, jiggling cheeks. He's full of gas-powered pranks up his sleeve. That little fart Chester. Always up to cheeky tricks.

Warning, may cause explosive laughter and uncontrollable wiggle dancing. Chester Cheeks from Buttface by Goliath.

SPEAKER_3 (1:44)

I think I already know the answer, but is that anything?

SPEAKER_1 (1:47)

This is something I want it. I want to buy it for my kids.

My 12-year-old and my 14-year-old would think it was hilarious. I think this is genius. I bet it's made millions of dollars. The nickname, it's called Chester Cheeks, but the nickname is Buttface.

SPEAKER_3 (2:07)

Right. Either one.

SPEAKER_1 (2:08)

Oh, that's incredible. Yes, this is something. I've seen the, have you seen the picture of this?

I mean, it looks like a little butt with headphones on it.

SPEAKER_2 (2:17)

Yes.

SPEAKER_3 (2:18)

It reminds me of one of these classic episodes of South Park. Again, things always go back to South Park or The Simpsons.

SPEAKER_2 (2:25)

It always does.

SPEAKER_3 (2:26)

Where Ben Affleck was missing, and they found his parents, and they had asses for faces. And they would always like fart when they speak, and they had this, I don't know.

SPEAKER_1 (2:38)

I've never seen that.

SPEAKER_3 (2:39)

You're going to have to go back and watch it.

Ben Affleck's parents had butt-tocks for faces. That's what this kind of reminds me of.

SPEAKER_4 (2:49)

Okay.

SPEAKER_3 (2:50)

Is this anything? An American Airlines flight from Madrid, Spain to Dallas had to be diverted to New York after all but two of the toilets stopped working.

Here's the audio from the pilot to air traffic control.

SPEAKER_4 (3:08)

The American 37, we're going to declare a pond, pond, pond, pond, pond for an overweight landing. American 37, heavy, the dead needs to know the reason for the divert.

You have only two potties operating on board for American 37, heavy.

SPEAKER_1 (3:23)

You said only two potties, is that right?

SPEAKER_4 (3:25)

That's affirmative.

SPEAKER_1 (3:26)

American 37, heavy, when you can, soles on board, a few remains, please.

SPEAKER_4 (3:30)

Soles on board, 287, you're remaining four hours.

SPEAKER_1 (3:34)

Is that what they call them, potties?

SPEAKER_3 (3:36)

It's weird hearing adults speak to another adult saying potties.

SPEAKER_1 (3:40)

Well, not only that, but professional adults making hundreds of thousands of dollars in the control tower and 30,000 feet in the air. Right. Yeah, we're going to need to make an emergency landing. Why the potties stopped working? It's weird, isn't it? Now, I'm glad if I was in that airplane, I'm glad.

I don't want to fly 10 hours from Dallas to Spain without working toilets.

SPEAKER_3 (4:08)

Oh, I'm with you, but I don't know why, but I'm more bothered by adults saying potties than I am the fact that toilets weren't working.

SPEAKER_1 (4:15)

Over the intercom so people can hear the potties stopped working. Right.

SPEAKER_3 (4:21)

For all of you who have to boom boom or pee pee, please avoid the potties. Like that's weird, right? That's a weird thing to say when you're a grown ass adult.

It's The Hammer and Nigel Show.